In Search of the Perfect Investment

Mulling is good. It lets the brain think options.

 I once saw a a fantastic property. View. Lake, Isolation. Cheap.

I rejected it for a stupid reason. The driveway was too long and too expensive to plow in the winter.

A friend bought it and made it the paradise I always wanted.

Idiot me.

Now I mull. Sometimes a few days. Sometimes a week.

Sometimes I come up dry. And reject it. Says Todd, “When in doubt, stay out.”

But usually the brain thinks of something — typically in the shower.

Some days I have three showers.

Apple is up but its sales and earnings are down. Go figure.

PayPal earnings are up. But its shares are down. Go figure.

July/August are typically weird months in stockmarkets. Everyone is at the beach.

Bill Clinton speaks last night to the 2016 DNC.

You can learn a lot from watching Bill Clinton’s speeches. If you missed last night, click here.

Peter Thiel, billionaire, supports Donald Trump. Here’s why:

Words from his talk: “Donald Trump is a builder. It’s time to end the era of stupid wars and rebuild our country.” Here’s Thiel’s short talk to the Republican convention. Click here.

Of course, it was a Republican president who invaded Iraq and Bill Clinton didn’t mention the server.

But, heck, politics is about simple ideas and even simpler slogans.

My favorite expression: truthful hyperbole. Trump calls it “an innocent form of exaggeration – and a very effective form of promotion.”

We have months to go before November.

Things I’ve learned. 

+ Don’t leave your customer hanging. If you’re checking or researching, send an email. “Got your email. I’m checking.”

+ Run your AC at 76. It’s cheaper than 72. But at 76, you’ve removed the humidity and that feels good.

+ Unilever spent $1 billion to buy the Dollar Shave Club, which sells blades cheaper than Gillette, which used to own the market. I use blades from Harry’s. Click here. 

I’ve learned two things about razor blades:

1. Gillette blades are way overpriced — typically $4 a blade. Gillette is a waste of money.

2. All blades are the same — irrespective of how many cutting edges. The only difference is newness. New ones work better than old ones.

  And you thought you were hot.

Last week temperatures across  Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and western Iran broke 125. In Mitribah, Kuwait, it hit 129 degrees. Basra, Iraq hit 129.2. These are the hottest recorded temperatures outside of Death Valley, California. …

So buy solar panels.

Wait, not so fast. Coal and natural gas miners are lobbying state by state to kill solar. Meanwhile the electric utility is scared that it soon won’t be in business. All its present customers will have panels and want to sell it electricity it doesn’t want. Hence the electric utilities are rejiggering their rates to make owning solar panels by their customers uneconomic. Want to learn more? Read this piece from the New York Times. It’s called Tug of War in Fine Print of your electric bill.” Click here.

Election thoughts:

 A New Zealand man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.

After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help.

The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.

The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn’t take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.

He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. Try again he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed. The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window.

He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

No, she says, they’re all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.

Harry Newton,who was born in Australia. The local quip is that New Zealand is the land where the men are men and the sheep are scared. Clearly no longer.