I’m dealing with my ultra-dumb investments in private companies and tiny public companies. It’s boring, annoying and frustrating. On this blog, I have written warning after warning about not touching private companies — unless you own and control them.
Recent items of frustration:
+ The worst is you don’t get financial reports. Monthly. Quarterly. Annually. Nothing. Niente. The SEC has no rules about investors in private companies being entitled to anything. Hence you never find out whether your company is alive and thriving. There are two exceptions: Bankruptcy notices. You get them. And pre-printed Christmas cards that say nothing I have received both this year!
+ The world below Microsoft, Amazon Berkshire Hathaway and the like is inhabited by companies known as “transfer agents.” I have no idea what their function is — except to extract fees from shareholders (like me) in tiny companies. One actually told me that, if I wanted to sell my shares, I’d need the original share certificate. But — if I couldn’t find it — they were happy to replace it for $1300. That’s a lot of money for one piece of paper.
+ So, let’s say your private company actually goes public and somehow you get sent a share certificate for your new shares in the new public company. You can actually see a quote for the value of your company’s shares via your online broker. Super. Now it’s time to sell. You know how many shares you have — it’s on the certificate and you know their value — it’s on your screen. All you have to do is to get your shares to your online broker and you can sell them for a one-time charge of $7.95 (what Fidelity charges).
+ Not so fast. Your broker has a thousand reasons why your shares are toxic and why he doesn’t want them and won’t accept them. They may have a restriction on the back. Like you can’t sell for x number of days or months or years. Your listed company’s shares might be too low priced. Or, some obscure group in his firm tucked away in the caves of Montana might just simply not like your shares, your company, or you. (Probably me.)
Ultimately there are ways around all this. “Ultimately” is the key word. Ultimately might be very expensive. Or ultimately may mean years of your miserable life, which could be better spent playing tennis, reading books, or writing rants, like this one.
Or digging up funny videos, like the ones below.
Takeover targets:
AMD, CENT, NFLX, SQ and DISH.
Stuff:
+ The cable TV, cell phone and landline companies are egregious. They bill you for services you didn’t order. They don’t adjust their bills as they promised you on the phone. They lie about how “cheap” they are compared to their competitors. They seem to like customers on AUTO-PAY as their prime rip-off targets. You need to look regularly at their bills and dispute every charge. They will always drop their bill significantly — rather than lose you as a customer.
I hate this stuff. I’ve written the same warnings about these bills for 40 years in various of my publications. Nothing changes, sadly.
+ You should quit smoking. But please don’t use the heavily-advertised drug called Chantix. The FDA warns of drunkenness, aggressive behavior, and loss of memory. I don’t make this up. Click here.
+ You’ve got too many credit cards. Some are charging you $80 a year and more — whether you use them or not.
+ You don’t need dietary supplement pills — unless you eat abysmally badly. And even I eat salad regularly.
+ If you have intermittent double vision (especially when you’re tired), prisms could solve your problem. You need a special eye doctor. I just ordered glasses with prisms. I ‘ll let you know.
+ Don’t do stupid. Don’t walk downhill on snow. Watch for ice. Hold the railings on stairs. Don’t run for subways. Don’t lift anything into the overhead bin.
Funniest video ever. (Clean and short, too.)
Second funniest video. From SNL.
Click here.
Reasons to love Instagram. From someone called amazonwanderer. I’m guessing that his girlfriend.
I’m desperate to make some crack about this photo being irrelephant.
Other words that get confused
+ advice and advise
+ affect and effect
+ loose and lose
+ desert and dessert
Daniel Tosh’s investment tip:
Don’t buy land below sea level.
You’re welcome.
Harry Newton, is into his end-of-year clean-up. It gives boredom a whole new meaning. Good news: this evening I am playing a gorgeous 24-year old excellent lady tennis player. If I can motivate her to play “customer tennis,” I have a shot at winning. Heck, I’m only 50-years older. Is this called sympathy for the devil?
