In Search of the Perfect Investment

A wise friend is seeking to buy puts on the S&5 500, as a hedge. He says he might be late, since others have already bought them and driven the price up. Here’s the S&P 500 chart over the past year:

You can apparently buy an August 18 put for $2.91. Buy puts on days the market rises strongly.

Credit cards are amazingly lethal.

If I’m late with the Chase credit card, they now charge me 25.74%, plus a million other fees like balance transfer fee, cash advance fee, late payment fee and return payment fee. I have my two — only two — credit cards on auto-pay. Hence no fees, no matter where I am.

Is this 25.74%  a  good reason to buy JPM at these levels? I’m dubious. It’s had a great run in the last year. I’m holding the ones I own.

50 Best Foods for Your Health. From Readers Digest (Feb 2017). Where else?

Nutritional all-stars:

+ Sauerkraut
+ Turmeric
+ Canned tuna
+ All fish. Said to lead to a 60% drop inthe risk of developing Alzheimer’s and slashes your chance of dying from heart disease by a third.
+ Dark chocolate (70% cacao).
+ Berries
+ Purple cabbage
+ Leafy green vegetables
+ Nuts
+Any food that sprouts
+ Ground flax-seeds
+ Wine

You can not find the list or the  printed magazine’s logic online. Dah!

Marriage and sex. Classic quotes.

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.”
Lynn Lavner

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
Camille Paglia

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.”
Sharon Stone

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
Tiger Woods

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams

“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, ‘I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked !”
Jerry Seinfeld

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams

“It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
Joan Rivers

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.
Steve Martin

You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-..aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.
Elmo Phillips

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
Oscar Wilde

Harry Newton, who’s looking forward to this weekend’s (Mother’s Day) visit with granddaughter,  Sophie: