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9:00 AM EST, Thursday, July 2, 2009. There are two theories on our upcoming hyperinflation:

1. Our government has printed so much money that hyperinflation is inevitable. Watch out Weimar Republic and Zimbabwe. We'll beat you.

2. Our economy has so many factories and so many people out of work that inflation won't happen. If any inklings that things are getting out of hand emerge, the Fed will raise interest rates and arrest the inflation. Meantime, today's critical task is saving the U.S. from a really serious depression and from strong deflation.

If you believe HyperInflation Theory 1 , you should:

A. Only invest short-term , because in two to three years, treasuries will be paying 8-9%+ and muni bonds 15%. And then you'll want to pile in. You won't want to be fixed income then because their value will be zippo.

B. Booming overseas economies like China and India will be the place to invest.

C. Buy gold and gold miners.

If you believe the No-HyperInflation Theory 2 , you should:

A. Buy cheap, decent quality "value" equities.

B. Buy high-yielding "distress" corporate bonds because the company will do OK. and the bonds will eventually be worth more, i.e. closer to par. And you'll make a killing.

Most people believe the hyperinflation theory. I have also. But extensive reading in the past few days -- I won't bore you -- has convinced me that the No-HyperInflation Theory is most likely. I say this, though I'm not turned on by all the monies the government has spent.

I'm now much less afraid of a major drop in the stockmarket. One huge reason is that 90% of the Doom and Gloom (D&G) has happened and/or is known and predicted. Despite all the D&G, the stockmarket has actually held up well.

I do not trivialize how difficult these markets are. All my money managers have done terribly this year. Most missed the March rally. Most are flat-to-slightly up on the year.

Russia is nuts.
Putin is closing the gambling casinos and throwing 400,000 Russians out of work. No one knows why. Read more about this latest Putin insanity. Click here.

For God's sake: If you do something for your client, tell them. Send them a quick email. Leave them a voice mail message. But don't leave them hanging. Clients and customers get really pissed off if they're waiting for word on their blocked toilet, their backing-up sewage system, their increasingly stinky house.... Are you listening Bill?

Wimbledon 2009 Tennis TV Schedule. Everything is live, except on The Tennis Channel, which shows repeats.

Thursday, July 2
.
.
7:00 AM to 12:00 PM
Women's Semifinals
ESPN2
12:00 to 5:00 PM
Women's Semifinals
NBC
12:00 AM
Women's Semifinals
The Tennis Channel
Friday, July 3
.
.
7:00 AM to 12:00 PM
Men's Semifinals
ESPN2
12:00 PM to 5:00 PM
Men's Semifinals
NBC
12:00 AM on
Men's Semifinals
The Tennis Channel
Saturday, July 4
.
.
9:00 AM to 2:00 PM
Women's Final
NBC
Sunday, July 5
.
.
9:00 AM - 3:00 PM
Men's Final
NBC

The mule
A busy farmer needed some help with tending to the animals. His mother-in-law offered to spend some time on his farm, and being as busy as he was, the farmer had no choice but to accept her offer.

A few days later, the mule kicked the mother-in-law and killed her.

Thousands of people from town came to the poor lady's funeral, many that the farmer didn't even know. A minister noticed this, came up to the farmer, and asked him, "Why are there so many people here?"

The farmer answered, "Oh, they're not here for the funeral. They want to buy the mule."

What's it called?
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for awhile when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is it called when 2 people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds! And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you right now."

This weekend. We celebrate our country and Susan's (my wife's) birthday.

The U.S. markets are closed tomorrow, Friday. See you Monday. Play lots of tennis. Go running. Watch Wimbledon. Rest a little. Hug the kids and the grandkids.


This column is about my personal search for the perfect investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor. I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas, concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address is . You can't click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing the Google ads on this site. Thus I cannot endorse, though some look interesting. If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Michael's business school tuition. Read more about Google AdSense, click here and here.