{"id":25036,"date":"2014-03-13T09:28:22","date_gmt":"2014-03-13T13:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/?p=25036"},"modified":"2014-03-13T09:28:22","modified_gmt":"2014-03-13T13:28:22","slug":"scary-parking-lots","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/?p=25036","title":{"rendered":"Scary parking lots"},"content":{"rendered":"

The market inches up, making us all geniuses.<\/p>\n

A rabbi crossing the road is hit by a truck. A passerby calls 911 and attends to the rabbi.<\/p>\n

The passerby doesn’t know what to do, but takes off his coat, covers the rabbi and asks him, “Rabbi, are you comfortable?”<\/p>\n

The rabbi replies, “I make a living.”<\/p>\n

I played 2 1\/2 hours tennis yesterday. From 7-9:30 AM. Azure blue skies. Perfect 70 degree weather. It was glorious.<\/p>\n

I don’t think you’re being creative enough.<\/strong><\/span> Put your thinking caps on.<\/p>\n

A contest for the worst investment ever. <\/strong>Here are the candidates:<\/p>\n

+ A gay bar in Uganda.<\/p>\n

+ A shopping center in La Quinta California in which your anchor tenant is a thrift shop.<\/p>\n

+ A fully rented shopping center in Rhode Island with Radio Shack, Sears, KMart, Blockbuster, JC Penney, Fortunoffs, and Filene\u2019s Basement as the tenants.<\/p>\n

Please add your candidates in the Comments below. We\u2019ll award some appropriate prizes in the next few days.<\/p>\n

The best comment so far (from Barry Merchant)<\/p>\n

I don’t have any other candidates, but I have a suggestion for the prize.<\/p>\n

A 3 week* vacation on Carnival Cruise Lines.<\/p>\n

*3 weeks or until fire, the onset of infectious disease, loss of sanitary facilities, loss of power or running aground…… whichever comes first.<\/p>\n

Get your comments in. Barry is not excited about cruising. But clearly some investors are:<\/p>\n

\"Carnival\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The American public is still going on cruises? Go figure.<\/p>\n

The biggest bargain: Amazon’s Prime free shipping service.<\/strong><\/span> It’s going up, from $75 to $99. But it’s still a bargain. Writes Amazon to me:<\/p>\n

We are writing to provide you advance notice that the price of your Prime membership will be increasing. The annual rate will be $99 when your membership renews on December 28, 2014.<\/p>\n

Even as fuel and transportation costs have increased, the price of Prime has remained the same for nine years. Since 2005, the number of items eligible for unlimited free Two-Day Shipping has grown from one million to over 20 million. We also added unlimited access to over 40,000 movies and TV episodes with Prime Instant Video and a selection of over 500,000 books to borrow from the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library.<\/p>\n

As\u00a0 You Slide Down the Banister of Life Through 2014<\/strong> <\/span>—\u00a0 (these are funny), remember:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It’s called … `Ministers Do More Than Lay People’<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0 The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0 I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0 It used to be only death and taxes, Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling.<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0 A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned your entire house.<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0 My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines and a large trash can.<\/p>\n

10. Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment…for enjoying sex.<\/p>\n

\"HarryNewton\"<\/a>
\nHarry Newton who wanted to write an insightful piece about living and shopping in Southern California where everyone drives everywhere. No walking, no subways, and precious few buses, which no one takes anyway. I went to Best Buy. There were actually customers. Real life poor people. With my superior in-store research, I figured it out. They were buying their first computer so they could, in future, shop online. Best Buy has buggar-all in inventory (another lovely Australian expression).<\/p>\n

I’ve spent more driving in parking lots than I have driving on the roads. Parking lots are dangerous. There are no rules. People drive on the left, on the right, in the middle. But the worst thing is that the parking lots are full of geriatric New York drivers who never drive, can’t drive and can’t see over the steering wheel. In short, drivers like me. It’s scary here.<\/p>\n