{"id":45673,"date":"2019-01-30T12:00:02","date_gmt":"2019-01-30T17:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/?p=45673"},"modified":"2019-01-30T12:18:56","modified_gmt":"2019-01-30T17:18:56","slug":"im-not-investing-any-money-in-anything-any-longer-unless-you-all-buy-adobe-acrobat-standard-x-and-use-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/?p=45673","title":{"rendered":"I’m not investing any money in anything any longer — unless you all buy Adobe Acrobat Standard X and use it"},"content":{"rendered":"

They send me forms. They ask me to print them out, fill them in (by hand — no less), scan them, and send the mothers back attached to an email.<\/p>\n

I’m too old. I’m too crabby. I don’t need this.<\/p>\n

You want my money. Then move into the 20th century.<\/p>\n

Buy yourself a copy of Adobe Acrobat X and make forms I can fill in online.<\/p>\n

Here’s how you make fillable forms — this is not rocket science.<\/p>\n

+ Write your form in Microsoft Word.<\/p>\n

+ Save it as a PDF.<\/p>\n

+ Open it in Acrobat Standard X.<\/p>\n

+ Go to Tools\/Forms, then create fillable form.<\/p>\n

+ Save it.<\/p>\n

Bingo, you can now send me a PDF by email which I can fill in, save and return.<\/p>\n

No printing. No scanning. No lousy handwriting. No messing up.<\/p>\n

Don’t even think about asking me for money if you can’t send me Fillable PDFs.<\/p>\n

Today the market is going up<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I don’t know why.<\/p>\n

Maybe because it went down yesterday.<\/p>\n

My favorite prediction of the week:<\/p>\n

Morgan Stanley’s chief equity strategist, Michael Wilson is telling everyone to dump all their stocks NOW!<\/p>\n

He has two reasons:<\/p>\n

+ EPS growth is terrible — only 1.3% to 3.5% in the first three quarters of 2019.<\/p>\n

+ GDP hit of $11 billion from our recent government shutdown.<\/p>\n

In my humble opinion, (IMHO, for short) he’s full of dog doo-doo.<\/p>\n

I restrained from illustrating my opinion with a dog doo-doo emoji.<\/p>\n

How big is Uber?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Imagine the software, telecom and cloud storage services they buy!<\/p>\n

The Polar Vortex is coming your way<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Tips:
\n+ Raise the temperature in your home to 2 to 4 degrees above your normal setting.
\n+ Take all programmable thermostats out of setback mode and set on a permanent hold.
\n+ If you have a furnace; replace the filter.
\n+ Keep garage doors closed.
\n+ Limit opening exterior doors.
\n+ Make sure air vents and radiators are not blocked or obstructed.v
\n+ Boil water, make soup, or stews; Helps add humidity and make you feel warmer.
\n+ Do not not use your oven or a grill to heat your home.<\/p>\n

Don’t buy Whirlpool washing machines and\/or dryers.\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I’m sick of fixing our Whirlpools.<\/p>\n

LG are much better.<\/p>\n

Don’t ever buy a top loading washing machine. They’re convenient. But they get unbalanced and stop.<\/p>\n

I’m too old to keep unbalancing wet loads of heavy towels.<\/p>\n

That gives boring a whole new meaning.<\/p>\n

How do people reach you?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Badly, I’m guessing. You never answer your phone. Your voice mail message is too long. You don’t read your emails. And worse, you can’t spell.<\/p>\n

Two tips:<\/p>\n

+ Shorten your message. “Leave me a message.”<\/p>\n

+ Get your office phone and your cell phone to ring simultaneously — at the same time. That way I can always reach you.<\/p>\n

How to beat the Chinese<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The commanding officer at the Russian military academy gave a lecture on Potential Problems and Military Strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.<\/p>\n

An officer stood up and asked, “Will there be a third world war? And, will Russia take part in it?”<\/p>\n

The general answered both questions in the affirmative.<\/p>\n

Another officer asked, “Who will be the enemy?”<\/p>\n

The general replied, “All indications point to China.”<\/p>\n

Everyone in the audience was shocked. A third officer remarked, “General, we are a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all, or even survive?”<\/p>\n

The general answered, “Just think about this for a moment. In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters but the quality of an army’s capabilities. For example, in the Middle East, we had a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and Israel always won.”<\/p>\n

After a small pause, yet another officer – from the back of the auditorium asked, “Do we have enough Jews?”<\/p>\n

Do we still have ….?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

The eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination.<\/p>\n

The doctor said, “You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Green, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?”<\/p>\n

“Just a minute, I’ll have to ask my husband,” she said.<\/p>\n

She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out:<\/p>\n

“Bob, do we still have intercourse?”<\/p>\n

There was a complete hush. You could hear a pin drop.<\/p>\n

Bob answered impatiently, “If I told you once, Irma, I’ve told you a hundred times.What we have is BlueCross!”<\/p>\n

Her final wish<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

An elderly woman died last month.<\/p>\n

Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.<\/p>\n

In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote,<\/p>\n

‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive,<\/p>\n

I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’<\/p>\n

\"HarryNewton\"<\/a>
\nHarry Newton, who did something awesome this morning. But he’s forgotten it — at least for now. Hence, I’ll suffer an un-stroked ego all day. I can’t imagine what Donald has been through recently.<\/p>\n