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<\/a><\/p>\n+ Buy yourself several fire extinguishers.\u00a0This is the one I bought from Amazon:<\/p>\n
It’s $52. Buy several. (I bought three.) Cheap insurance. Click here.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n I get “unknown” robocalls. So do you.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n I hang up on them. Then I block them on my iPhone.<\/p>\n Look up Recents<\/em>. Click on i. Scroll down.<\/p>\n There are oodles of robocall-blocking software. The software is too complex , too intrusive and not very effective.<\/p>\n The Washington Post did a big piece on how to block “unknown” calls.<\/p>\n “My test lasers in on one important question: Who was first at identifying the bad guys? I discovered no service could flag\u00a0more than two-thirds of the calls on my list, in part because so many robocalls spoof their identities. Those are the\u00a0calls that look conspicuously similar to your number, or that copy the caller ID of some poor soul who gets lots of angry\u00a0return calls.”<\/p>\n And then there are the “unknown” calls you actually want.<\/p>\n For the Washington Post piece, click\u00a0here.\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n Classic Jewish humor<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n + The waiter joke.<\/p>\n A group of five Jewish women are eating lunch in a busy cafe.<\/p>\n Nervously, their waiter approaches the table. “Ladies,” he says. “Is anything okay?”<\/p>\n + The (loving) Jewish mothers joke<\/p>\n Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench, arguing over which one’s son loves her the most.<\/p>\n The first one says, “You know, my son sends me flowers every Shabbos.”<\/p>\n “You call that love?” says the second mother. “My son calls me every day!”<\/p>\n “That’s nothing,” says the third woman. “My son is in therapy five days a week. And the whole time, he talks about me!”<\/p>\n +\u00a0 The hospital joke.<\/p>\n An elderly Jewish man faints and is rushed to the nearest hospital. A nurse tucks him into bed and says, “Mr. Schwartzman, are you comfortable?” Schwartzman replies, “I make a living.!”<\/p>\n + The grandparent joke.<\/p>\n A Jewish grandfather takes his grandchildren to the beach. They’re playing in the sand when suddenly, a massive wave comes and pulls the smallest grandson out into the water. Panicked, the grandfather prays to God. “Oh God, please bring him back! Please let him live!”<\/p>\n Suddenly, an even bigger wave bursts out of the ocean, setting the little boy down right at his grandfather’s feet. He scoops him up into a hug.<\/p>\n Then he stares up at the sky and says, “He had a hat.”<\/p>\n + The sports joke.<\/p>\n A yeshiva (Jewish school) decides to start a crew team. But no matter how much they practice, they lose every single race. Eventually they decide to send one boy down to the nearby prep school as a spy, to watch their winning crew team and find out what their secret is.<\/p>\n After a day of reconnaissance, the boy comes back. “Listen!” he tells his teammates. “I learned how they do it. They have eight guys rowing, and only one guy screaming!”<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n