{"id":48804,"date":"2019-12-13T13:16:13","date_gmt":"2019-12-13T18:16:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/?p=48804"},"modified":"2019-12-13T13:16:13","modified_gmt":"2019-12-13T18:16:13","slug":"two-ugly-noses-maybe-theyre-impacting-the-china-deal-maybe-who-knose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/?p=48804","title":{"rendered":"Two ugly noses. Maybe they’re impacting the China Deal? Maybe, who knose?"},"content":{"rendered":"

We have a deal, say the Chinese.<\/p>\n

We don’t, says Donald. But we may.<\/p>\n

Commented one guru, “It may not sound as good as it really is because Xi does not want it to be known he gave on certain issues and loses face.”<\/p>\n

Hence the market is up, down, and up — or as they say in Australia — up and down faster than a wh*re’s drawers. This is today, so far.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Here are two total scams<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

I just received them today.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Will someone please train these idiots?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Ring. Ring.<\/em><\/p>\n

“My name is Sarino, How are you doing today?”<\/p>\n

I’ve tried everything from “I’m dead” to “I’m sleeping.” The calls keep coming.<\/p>\n

Once, i explained I was<\/strong> having a bad day. They had amputated my leg. I had a prefrontal lobotomy. And my wife had just committed suicide.<\/p>\n

None of that did any good. They pressed on:<\/p>\n

“OK. Let me tell you why your Vindows PC is in danger.”<\/p>\n

As though my Vindows PC disaster matched my other minor medical disasters.<\/p>\n

Maybe I should have told him about my recent plastic surgery\u00a0that didn’t work and left me with, not one, but two ugly noses?<\/p>\n

Send a dollar to www.PlasticSurgeryGoneWrong.com<\/strong> and I’ll send you a photo.<\/p>\n

P.S. I offered $101 to buy that site. But I haven’t heard back. Drat.<\/p>\n

There is another solution to spam calls<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

On your iPhone, go to Settings\/Phone and scroll down. You’ll see this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Oih vey for your wipers<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Writes reader Jim Bracke:<\/p>\n

A friend had both front wiper blades ripped off his car in a drive-through car wash. Most new cars have a wiper setting which turns them on when rain hits the windshield. My friend left that setting on.<\/p>\n

When the drive-through washing turned on the wipers, brushes caught the blades and ripped them off. The blade stems kept swishing back and forth and finally destroyed the windshield.<\/p>\n

The car wash said it wasn’t liable.<\/p>\n

I’ll resist making jokes about its business all washed up.<\/p>\n

Your kid’s resume<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

+ It should stress what they accomplished at all those previous jobs.<\/p>\n

+ Your kid’s cover letter should stress what he\/she can accomplish for their prospective new employer.<\/p>\n

My daughter,\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>the Whirling Dervisher<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

She stayed for a day, assessed that my bathroom was full of cr*p, and proceeded to organize it..<\/p>\n

She motivated me. I’ve been throwing cr*p out ever since.<\/p>\n

I measure my progress by large trash cans.<\/p>\n

Which is more exciting than owning a stock that’s going up, like Apple and Adobe today.<\/p>\n

For pondering this weekend:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Life is wonderful. But technology is even better.<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n

You can now buy an Air Purifier with WiFi:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I photographed this box which a millennial was carrying on the New York subway yesterday.<\/p>\n

Why. I asked, would anyone want an air purifier with WiFi?<\/p>\n

He answered his wife was pregnant with their first child. He wanted to make sure he fathered the perfect child.<\/p>\n

Is this kid going to be spoiled or what?<\/p>\n

He bought the air purifier at Costco for half the price on Amazon.<\/p>\n

I’m glad I own shares of both companies. I bought more shares of Costco today. It’s down a little.<\/p>\n

See you Monday. — Harry Newton<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We have a deal, say the Chinese. We don’t, says Donald. But we may. Commented one guru, “It may not sound as good as it really is because Xi does not want it to be known he gave on certain issues and loses face.” Hence the market is up, down, and up — or as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48804","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48804","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48804"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48804\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48825,"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48804\/revisions\/48825"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.technologyinvestor.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}