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9:00 AM EST, Wednesday, April 29, 2009. Hog prices have fallen. With violence and swine flu, no one is visiting Mexico, where tourism is slumped. Six of our 19 biggest banks need more capital. All predictable stuff.

Meanwhile, the Australian dollar and the Euro are climbing. More predictable stuff, says he sarcastically.

The media picked up on "Sell in May and go away."

My favorite investment guru. When I win at tennis, I reward myself by visiting Mariella Pizza on 151 West 60 Street, right opposite Bloomingdales. John Vicari, the owner (sort of), makes the absolute best pizza in New York.

He also dispenses the best investment advice. Samples:

+ When you owe money, you're a slave."

+ Buy these three -- ERF (yields 10%+), PWE (yields 24%) and LINE (18%).

+ Apache Energy (APA). He bought recently -- lower -- and is making a profit.

John loves the stockmarket. But lost all his money during the tech boom by listening to George Gilder. He had hoped to retire, but now faces more pizza making. For me that's good news. He really does make good pizza.

Pleas for help on locked up money. Surely no one believes these pleas for help unlocking monies in foreign bank accounts. In the last day, I have received emails from Nigeria, South Africa, Hong Kong and Cuba. The deal is simple. Send them some money. They'll use it to unlock a bank account which I'll become beneficiary of. In a few weeks, I'll receive 30% of $28 million or so.

This is a scam. Don't even think about opening any attachments. A far better idea is to send me the money. Cash accepted. Gold bullion preferred.

Great news. If you missed investing with Madoff, you can still invest in the movie.

This movie poster is not a creation of Photoshop. It's for real. It's from something called Dragon Lion Media.

Yesterday's Favorite quote.

"Make no mistake. We are selling off our future and the future of our children to prevent the bondholders of US financial corporations from taking losses. We are using public funds to protect bondholders of some of the most mismanaged companies in the history of capitalism, instead of allowing them to take losses that should have been their own." -John Hussman, fund manager.

My mother always wanted to be a Buddhist. Now I know why, from my present favorite book:

The story goes that Gautama, whom they were later to call the "Enlightened One," the "Buddha," rejected his life of splendor. For six years he led the life of a hermit and penitent. ... He sat under a fig tree -- The Tree of Enlightenment as it became known -- that took away his doubts and brought him inner peace...

This is what the Buddha taught: If we can stop ourselves wanting all the beautiful and pleasant things in life, and can learn to control our greed for happiness, comfort, recognition and affection, we shan't feel sad anymore. ... I can already hear you saying, "That's very well, but people can't help wanting things." The Buddha thought otherwise. He said it is possible to control our desires, but to do we need to work on ourselves and only have the desires we want to have.

This was the Enlightenment that Buddha experienced under the fig tree: the realization that, instead of giving into our wishes, we can break free from them. The Buddha called it the "middle way," because it lay between useless self-torment and thoughtless pleasure-seeking."

There you have it. The perfect philosophy for today's economy.

Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone. "Hello, this is Father O'Malley"

"This is the Tax Dept. Can you help us?"

"I can!"

"Do you know a Ted Houlihan ?"

"I do!"

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is!"

"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"

"He will."

This column is about my personal search for the perfect investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor. I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas, concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address is . You can't click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing the Google ads on this site. Thus I cannot endorse, though some look interesting. If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Michael's business school tuition. Read more about Google AdSense, click here and here.