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8:30 AM EST Tuesday, August 1, 2006: Today's fear is timing. A neat investment is pending. It's in private equity. Has that area peaked? That's the fear. By the time most of us have awoken to it, it's on the way down. That happened to most investors in technology in the late 1990s. Most should have stayed in cash and perhaps discovered real estate as interest rates started tumbling. I hope it's not happened to me with my investments in commodities, minerals and energy.

The lessons are:
+ Don't be stampeded into a hot area, just because the train is leaving the station.
+ They'll always be another train.
+ A hefty dose of cash right now remains king.

Canadian Oil Sands Trust (COS-UN.TO) seems to be moving up.

We're figuring $50 within the year.

If you go away on vacation: Unplug all your major appliances, especially the ones that respond to infrared remote control devices, like TVs and DVDs. This way:

+ You'll save the huge electricity these things burn up on standby, and
+ You'll save them being hit by lightning strikes during summer thunderstorms.

More reasons not to invest in technology stocks: Items:
+ Verizon's second quarter profit fell 24%. Verizon is losing its lucrative landline business hand over fist (and hasn't figured out how to hold it.) My son belongs to a generation which uses a cell phone and never installs a landline, thus making all Verizon's copper valueless.
+ Kodak's loss got bigger because its film and photo-finishing group is cratering. My son has never owned a film camera and probably never will. Virtually all his photos are displayed on his laptop, not on photo paper.

Dear John Chambers:
July 10, 2006
Dear John,
This Cisco Linksys router is brand-new.
I tried to install it on Sunday night. I couldn't.
I spent 2 hours on hold waiting for Linksys/Cisco to help me.
I gave up.
Do me a favor and replace it with one that works.
Sincerely yours,
Harry Newton

I've heard nothing from you in over two weeks.

Another reason not to buy Cisco, either.

Wouldn't it be nice to invest in a resurgent Cuba? Items:
+ Fidel Castro has ruled Cuba for 48 years.
+ He will turn 80 on Sunday and is going in for surgery.
+ Meantime he has turned over power to his younger brother, Raul, who is only 76.
+ Fidel stopped smoking cigars in 1985 and now exercises every day.
+ Fidel has said that he did not plan on leading Cuba when he hits 100.

Totally wonderful software
Your kids will love this software gymnast. Drag the figure around your screen. Click here: It only works with Internet Explorer.

Ashamed of Mel Gibson

This is the LA police mugshot of Mel Gibson after he was picked up for speeding and drunk driving and after he spewed out virulent anti-semitic remarks to the arresting cop. For the full, gruesome story, click here. How the whole miserable episode is hurting his spectacular career, click here.

Sick puppy, me. Three pictures I love.

This is actually a pacifier. There are many equally grotesque models, with different teeth.


This came on the cover of a Hallmark birthday card my wife recently got. I wish.


I did not put the sign up. It was some other sick puppy. But I can't stop laughing at it.

A better drunk story than Mel Gibson's
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?" "Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.

The cop asks "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out..........

"I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too"

This column is about my personal search for the perfect investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor. I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas, concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address is . You can't click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing the Google ads. Thus I cannot endorse any, though some look mighty interesting. If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Claire's law school tuition. Read more about Google AdSense, click here and here.
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