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8:30 AM EST Monday, July 17, 2006: Cash is king. The stockmarket is not the place to be at present. It doesn't like what might happen in the Middle East. The facts:
1. Israel must stop Hezbollah and its increasingly long-range deadly rockets.
2. Iran provides Hezbollah funding ($100 million a year plus) and rockets -- 10,000 to 20,000 of them, so far -- but can keep providing them forever since borders are so porous.
3. The rockets are dispersed throughout Lebanon. Without a house-to-house on-the ground search, no one can find and destroy all of them.
4. Israel's present tactics will bring increasing resentment, but not a ceasefire.
5. This morning there is news that Israel has moved into Southern Lebanon and Hezbollah has shot down as Israeli F-14.

Could this escalate into "regime change" in Iran and $100 a barrel oil? If so, the consequences for the world economy and its stockmarkets are not good. Anticipating gloom and doom, hedge funds are already pummeling markets. It's short-term heaven for short hedgies.

Earnings season begins this week. It won't be strong; Earnings are weakening. They won't count for much in the face of the escalating mess in the Middle East.

Latest news: Cramer's weekend one minute commercial pushes the idea that it's OK to sell fallen stocks. He still hasn't embraced our 15% stop loss rule. But he will, because it works.

Good news: Stocks will soon be real cheap.

Amazing news: The Group of Eight nations -- Canada, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia, the United Kingdom and the United States -- have failed to condemn Hezbollah's Syrian or Iranian sponsors or demand an end to the conflict that's caused gold and silver prices to jump and driven world stockmarkets lower.

InSite Vision files NDA application: Its drug AzaSite checked out. InSite filed an NDA (New Drug Application) with the FDA and expects to be selling the drug next year. It treats bacterial conjunctivitis (i.e. in the eyes). The stock has fallen because the company has been late in revealing which big pharma will market AzaSite. There are sound reasons for the delay. I bought some more ISV on Friday.

The biggest bargain ever: If you ask, the Feds will give you a 48-page passport, double the size of the normal. The bigger size is free and incredibly useful, given how quickly passports fill with stamps. You can renew even before your passport expires and get a bigger passport by mail. Click here.

Home safety tip: Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear something, press the panic button for your car. The alarm will go off. Your horn will sound until you turn it off or your car battery dies. It will scare the hell out of a burglar and your neighbors.

Crazy glue keeps cords joined: All those laptop and cell phone cords slip apart. My solution: Crazy Glue them together. Works like a charm.

Getting hot. Save your skin: Courtesy The Wall Street Journal and yours truly:
1. Sunscreen with 30 SPF.
2. Apply 20 minutes before going out.
3. Use everywhere, especially exposed chest, and back of hands.
4. Wear protective clothing and stay out of the sun.

How to give "stupid joke" a whole new meaning:
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's' car pull into the driveway.

"Oh my God - hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

So the boyfriend grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!

As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered He had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend In as best he could.

After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.

"Oh yes!" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

Another runner moved a long side. "Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?"

Oh , yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car and quickly go home."

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"

"Nope......... just when it's raining".

This column is about my personal search for the perfect investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor. I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas, concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address is . You can't click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing the Google ads. Thus I cannot endorse any, though some look mighty interesting. If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Claire's law school tuition. Read more about Google AdSense, click here and here.
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