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8:30 AM EST, Wednesday, March 14, 2007: I'm back in New York City. But I rather would have stayed. The weather in Hilton Head is to die for. Perfect for tennis. The plane back from Savannah was late. I finally finished this edition of my dictionary, late last night, making me bereft of intelligent investment ideas this morning. Except I do like the weekly CD which Sovereign Bank is paying me 5.20% on.

Check your clocks for daylight savings time. Which moron changed the time and then forgot to tell the various government computers? Like the one that's meant to adjust your PC. Or the one that "automatically" adjusts your clock by ethereal wireless signals from afar? Manual clocks are better. Here's my patented solution to daylight savings time. I simply have two clocks. When the time changes I move one in front of the other.

Tennis on ESPN2 starts today. Federer is not playing. He got chucked out in the second round.

I went out to a popular Hilton Head restaurant. The average age of the clients was between 80 and death. I wondered, will it come down to this?

The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, "that poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything. People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything." Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered, "The teeth."

This column is about my personal search for the perfect investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor. I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas, concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address is . You can't click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing the Google ads. Thus I cannot endorse any, though some look mighty interesting. If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Claire's law school tuition. Read more about Google AdSense, click here and here.
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