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8:30 AM EST, Thursday, May 24: Here are the results for some of the places I have (or used to have) money invested. There are several lessons:

1. Diversification works.

2. Surprises happen. The best performing thing was actually EWA -- the Australian iShare that I've been plugging. It rose 18.94% in the first four months of 2007. It's not in the chart.

3. Some managers lose their way. And then it's time to get out. I'm out of Private Capital. What with their obsession on newspapers, they have clearly lost their way. Look at their numbers.

4. Smaller managers tend to do better than larger managers. Smaller managers tend to have more of their own money in their own fund. Thus their goal is to build value, rather than building size and, hence, fees on your money.

5. I'm still wrestling with the issue of when to fire a manager. I tend now to feel it's not when the manager's returns are bad, but when they're bad and out of line with everyone else, e.g. Private Capital.

6. Most -- not all -- of the Vanguard Index funds are doing as well as some of my managed money managers -- but not as well as the best ones.

7. The stuff is complex. Gentle management, gentle changes seem to work best.

8. The final conclusion: If the end result is a little profit, you're doing OK. Profit is as good as money, or even as good as cash.

How not to be outbid on eBay:

Vinnie sent me:

There are programs out there that bid for you automatically. You program them with the price you would like to bid and the time you would like it to place it. If you have a high speed Internet connection, they recommend 3 seconds before the auction ends. They work very well. I use Bay Genie eBay auction sniper pro edition.

Steve Schone writes:

Ebay power users use automated bidding software. I use one called Bidnapper. Automated bidding software places your bid in the last minute of the auction (generally in the last few seconds). You set the parameters like max bid and it does the rest. It allows you to set up conditional bids like bid on item 1, bid on item 2 only if you don't win item 1., etc.

Unlocked GSM phones: From reader Scott Mullen:

You can find all of the carriers’ unlocked GSM phones at egizmo.com. I have bought many phones from them and never have had one problem.

Free Software to Play DVDs. From today's New York Times:

Q. I would like to watch DVDs on my computer with a program that works better than Windows Media Player. Are there any free ones available?

A. Windows Media Player is Microsoft’s free software for playing audio and video files, and it comes with most versions of Windows. You can find plenty of other options. Start in software archive sites that offer ratings and reviews by other users. Sites like www.download.com, www.tucows.com and www.versiontracker.com link to free programs, shareware and trial versions of commercial software to sample.

AVS DVD Player (www.avsmedia.com/DVDPlayer) and VLC media player (www.videolan.org) are two of the more popular free DVD programs. Commercial programs for playing DVDs on your computer cost about $50, but they typically offer more features like support for Dolby sound, brightness controls and battery-saving functions for laptops. Free trial versions of InterVideo’s WinDVD (www.intervideo.com/WinDVD) and CyberLink’s PowerDVD (www.cyberlink.com) are available to download.

I use InterVideo WinDVD.

How to prevent bronchitis: My bronchitis is in its fourth week. It's lingers, but slowly (agonizingly slowly) improves. My continuing advice: Run a million miles from anyone who's coughing. From reader Paul Poirier:

Dear Harry, I contracted bronchitis many years ago, several years after I had quit smoking. I smoked from age 14 to age 27. About age 26 I suffered from bronchitis periodically. One day I just started scraping the back of my tongue with my tooth brush. No explanation for this. Maybe it just felt good or maybe it was punishment. After a few days I noticed that my mouth felt better in the morning than it had in years. The bronchitis never bothered me again. Before this "treatment," I suffered periodically from the typical symptoms of bronchitis: sore throat, occasional fever, foul breath and I have forgotten the rest of the symptoms. I am now 78 years old and feel very good. I did not take any medicine for it. I hope this helps.

Bidding on a web site (also called a URL): I needed a web site. One of those companies that was camping on zillions of them had it. I emailed them. Several weeks later, I could have it -- for $1,800. Two weeks later it was "specially reduced" to $1,550. Several weeks later (i.e. last night) it was down to $500. I wonder what it will be next week?

The absolute best speeding ticket excuse:
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 MPH , then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the Trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the Trooper.

The auspicious deadline
A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.

The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window . "Uh, yes, officer?"

The cop says: "What are you doing?"

The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And her, what is she doing?"

The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple alone, in a car, at night in a Lover's lane.... and nothing sexual or obscene is happening!

The cop asks: "What's your age, young man?"

The young man says : "I'm 22, sir."

The cop asks: "And her .. what's her age?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies:

"She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."

This column is about my personal search for the perfect investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor. I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas, concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address is . You can't click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing the Google ads. Thus I cannot endorse any, though some look mighty interesting. If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Claire's law school tuition. Read more about Google AdSense, click here and here.
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