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8:30 AM EST, Wednesday, October 24, 2007: For reasons that baffle Wall Street's brightest minds, stock prices continue rising. Lucky us. Floating around Australia's financial community are "Crib Notes for Stock Analysts." This is a cheat sheet purporting to show how to react to data and market releases in the current market. This will help you understand what they say on CNBC.

+ Weak data - Fed ease, stocks rally.
+ Consensus data - lower volatility, stocks rally.
+ Strong data - economy strengthening, stocks rally.
+ Bank loses $4 billion - bad news out of the way, stocks rally.
+ Oil spikes - great for energy companies, stocks rally.
+ Oil drops - great for consumer, stocks rally.
+ Dollar plunges - great for multinationals, stocks rally.
+ Dollar spikes - lowers inflation, stocks rally.
+ Inflation spikes - will inflate all assets, stocks rally.
+ Inflation drops - improves earnings quality, stocks rally.

A pretty chart -- a pretty awful chart.



This is the chart of a new biotech company which disappointed with its first (and erstwhile most promising drug) -- an anti-obesity drug. Manhattan had to withdraw the fat drug because it didn't work. It re-grouped and found four other drugs. These are all promising clinical stage products, three of which are in dermatology. One of its most promising is to help psoriasis, which is pretty awful if you have it. My sister does, so I'm familiar with it. About 4 1/2 million Americans suffer from it and would like to get rid of it. Here are photos showing how well Manhattan's drug works.

Its other three products are selling successfully overseas, Manhattan's job is now to usher its four drugs through the FDA (Federal Drug Administration) and get permission to sell them in the U.S. If it gets permission on any one of them, Manhattan's present ultra-depressed stock will be a minimum ten-bagger. For a recent Manhattan presentation, Click here.

Over 880,000 have been evacuated from their homes: Over 1,250 homes have been destroyed. The devastation from the continuing fires (many still out of control) in Southern California is immense. With global warming (for whatever reason) fires are likely to become more common. Here are two diagrams from the Los Angeles Times that contain useful information -- if you're thinking of building a new house. My partner has left his house in Rancho Santa Fe. So far, its been spared. We're praying for him.

My doctor whooped for joy, the day I went on Medicare. He said dealing with the Feds was much easier than dealing with my private health provider, Oxford. Basic Medicare is free. Why? I hadn't earned it. I hadn't bought it. I had simply gotten older. Not much of an accomplishment. Not one I want to reminded of.

My daily regimen of 1 1/2 hours of aggressive singles tennis, around-town biking and limited food intake is paying huge dividends. I'm in the best condition I've even been. My weight is down 12 pounds from its peak to 174. (I'm 6' 2".) My blood pressure is 105 over 65. My pulse is 61. And the only pills I take are omeprazole (the generic form of Prilosec). I'm ecstatic, and bragging.

Michael Clayton, the movie: As I watched, I squirmed.

Michael Clayton works in a large law firm under intolerable pressures. My baby daughter, Claire, is a new lawyer, working now in a large firm. I wondered what lay ahead for my sensitive Claire. The movie disturbed me. My wife thought I was nuts. She's in love with George Clooney. She loved the movie. That's what makes horse races. Is George Clooney really the sexiest man alive? Will Medicare pay for an operation to make me look like Mr. Clooney?

Off to Turkey: I'm going for a real estate seminar focusing on commercial opportunities in emerging places. I'll be back on Sunday. My next column will be on Monday.

The world's worst golf joke:
A couple of old guys were golfing one day, when one of the men said that he was going to go to Dr. Basil for a new set of dentures in the morning.

His elderly friend remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

'Is that so?' the first old gentleman asked. 'Did he do a good job?'

The second gent replied, 'Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 200 mph when it smacked me right in the testicles.'

The first old guy was confused and asked, 'What does that have to do with your dentures?'

The second man answered, 'That was the first time in two years that my teeth didn't hurt.'

The six best Jewish mother jokes:

Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
He says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth filled with food if you called."

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful. What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
(Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, 'Lady, I haven't eaten in three days.'
*"Force yourself," she replied.

What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers?
'Is ANYTHING all right?'

This column is about my personal search for the perfect investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor. I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas, concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address is . You can't click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing the Google ads. Thus I cannot endorse any, though some look mighty interesting. If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Claire's law school tuition. Read more about Google AdSense, click here and here.
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