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9:00 AM EST, Friday, November 21, 2008: The U.S. stockmarket is down 50% from its peak last year. There are various theories on when markets hit bottom. The word Wall Street uses is "capitulation." That's when everybody and their uncle calls their broker and says, "Oh God, I can't take this any longer. Get me out. Sell everything I own."

Brokers told me that they heard this yesterday.

Desperation is what's happening in treasuries. They're perceived as the ONLY safe haven. Everyone and their uncle are pilling into them. Prices are up. Yields are down.

Today may be a different story. I'm not playing the timing game, yet. But I am saying, if your shorts go 5% against you, cover. Don't be greedy. You've made enough money in recent days. Thank you. Harry.

You can be dumb, and then you can be really dumb. The three big U.S. auto CEOs -- - Rick Wagoner of GM, Alan Mulally of Ford, and Robert Nardelli of Chrysler -- flew to Washington in their company's private jets. Wagoner of GM flew in GM's $36 million jet. The roundtrip cost of the Detroit-Washington trip was at least $20,000. All three execs were in Washington begging for a $25 billion taxpayer bailout. There are 24 daily nonstop flights from Detroit to the Washington area. Economy roundtrip is under $300.

You can watch ABC News' report on the planes here. GM's Wagoner was paid $16 million last year. Ford's Mulally was paid $28 million last year.

Three seriously dumb auto CEOs. From left Richard Wagoner of General Motors, Robert Nardelli of Chrysler and Alan Mulally of Ford.

Congress is baulking at giving the three any money. Guess why? No, not because of the private jets. But because not one of these handsomely paid executives has presented a plan detailing what they will do with any money Congress might give them. These guys are dumber than a bag of hammers.

Elementary maintenance: Two fixes make a big difference:

1. Inflating the tires on my bicycle. My bike runs faster and pedals easier with more air. And since I use my bike every day, that's critical.

2. Tightening the screws on my eyeglasses. I have no idea how they loosen up. But they do. Then a lens falls out and I can only half see. Which is not the same as the glass being half full.

Taking world by BlackBerry Storm. No. The reason you're seeing so much publicity on the newest BlackBerry phone is that Verizon offered two-month loaners to reporters if they'd turn up at a mid-town Manhattan hotel and listen to a 15-minute pitch on the phone. I did. My wife is looking for a phone that does email. Right now she only has a phone, not a smartphone. I figured she'd be a good tester.

She's still testing. She's finding the choice of new smartphone to be daunting. And she's right. When Apple introduced the iPhone, it changed the world of smartphones forever. Before the iPhone BackBerry was the smartphone to get. Now it's complicated. Before you choose a new smartphone (that's what these things are called) you need to ask yourself what can I comfortably type on?

All the BlackBerries before the Storm had keyboards which users could thumb fast on. But the tradeoff was a small screen. Apple's iPhone introduced tapping on a virtual keyboard -- one that pops up when you need it. But for the rest of the time, you had a big screen to view photos, watch movies, play games on or check the weather on. Typing on an iPhone is much slower than typing on a BlackBerry keyboard. If you do a lot of emails you should get an old BlackBerry, like the 8830. If you think you can handle tapping on glass on a virtual keyboard, then you need to check out each of three phones that let you do this:

From left, BlackBerry Storm, Google G1 and iPhone 3G. The G1 is the only one that actually has a physical keyboard also. You slide the phone apart.

You next criterion is Can you use it without reading the instruction book? The iPhone is the easiest to use. I haven't figured the Storm out yet. Next crtierion, do you like the look and feel of the phone? The Storm is chunkier and heavier than the svelte iPhone. And the final criterion is how easy is it to customize it to do the things you want it to do. Apple has something called the Apps Store. There are literally thousands of applications you can get for free or a handful of dollars that will make your life a lot easier -- from little weather apps, to stock apps, to financial news from Bloomberg, etc. Verizon and Research in Motion (the maker of the Storm) don't have an equivalent store. (I asked the RIM employee why not? He said RIM was "working on it.")

Despite its touchscreen keyboard, the Storm is a real BlackBerry which means it integrates best with corporate email. It also has something it calls visual voice mail. You're emailed a list of your voice messages. You pick which ones you want to hear -- in the order you want to hear them. Visual voice mail is brilliant. It copied this from the iPhone which also has an app you can get called "You drive, I dial." Tell it to make the calls you want to make. It will make them one after another, while you drive. Neat.

More criterion: A camera. How you make images bigger and smaller. There are a dozens of criteria -- Walt Mossberg of the Wall Street Journal had a long piece. Click here.

Frankly, I don't think I can make a recommendation for you. You need to play with all of them. The best news is that phones and data plans are getting cheaper. Now everyone can receive emails 24/7 wherever they are -- including news on the Nigerian lottery you just won. And we all now expect instant responses to our most minor requests.

Favorite most recent New Yorker cartoon:

Another stupid pirate joke. Your kids at least will like it.

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch is on TV.

Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.

Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.

Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.

The weekend: Be nice to your spouse and your kids. Ask them how they're doing. Listen to them. Flatter them. Take them to the movies. Three worth seeing: Body of Lies, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, and Slumbdog Millionaire. Do not see the latest James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. It gives boredom (and senseless violence) a whole new meaning.


This column is about my personal search for the perfect investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor. I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas, concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address is . You can't click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing the Google ads on this site. Thus I cannot endorse, though some look interesting. If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Michael's business school tuition. Read more about Google AdSense, click here and here.