Harry Newton's In Search of The Perfect Investment
Newton's In Search Of The Perfect Investment. Technology Investor.
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8:30 AM Friday, December 30, 2005: I'm
on I-70 coming into Denver to catch a morning flight back to New York. We must
pass through the 1.7 mile long Eisenhower Tunnel, the highest vehicular tunnel
in the world, at over 11,000 feet. It's been snowing. Cars, buses and
trucks have been sliding out, creating massive traffic jams. Wish us luck. If
we make it, you'll read a more interesting column. If not, you'll have this
picture.

The Eisenhower Tunnel sits on the Continental Divide.
Early
Draft of the Bible
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked
him, "What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't
have anyone to talk to.
God said that
he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
He said, "This
person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you do discover clothing,
she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make.
She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the
night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be first to
admit she was wrong when you've had an argument. She will never have a headache
and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."
Adam asked God,
"What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An
arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked,
"What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history.
Homeland
security and the FBI
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews,
and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final
test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him
a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what
the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.
Kill Her!
The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your
wife and go home."
The second man
was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All
was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I
tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said,
"You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was
the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions; kill her husband. She
took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They
heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was
quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.
She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks,"
she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
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Harry Newton
This column is about my personal search for the perfect
investment. I don't give investment advice. For that you have to be registered
with regulatory authorities, which I am not. I am a reporter and an investor.
I make my daily column -- Monday through Friday -- freely available for three
reasons: Writing is good for sorting things out in my brain. Second, the column
is research for a book I'm writing called "In Search of the Perfect
Investment." Third, I encourage my readers to send me their ideas,
concerns and experiences. That way we can all learn together. My email address
is . You can't
click on my email address. You have to re-type it . This protects me from software
scanning the Internet for email addresses to spam. I have no role in choosing
the Google ads. Thus I cannot endorse any, though some look mighty interesting.
If you click on a link, Google may send me money. Please note I'm not suggesting
you do. That money, if there is any, may help pay Claire's law school tuition.
Read more about Google AdSense, click
here and here.
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