In Search of the Perfect Investment

New stocks I bought yesterday: HD and RVBD, Favorites still include AAPL. NKE, BHP, VWALX, AGNC and NLY. (See list on right.) Keep your stops tight.

Mohammed El-Erian on CNBC this morning has three principles:

1. Prudence
2. Patience
3. Optionality.

On asset allocation, he recommends

1. Be underweight equity.

2. Own selected commodities — gold and oil.

3. Stay within seven years maturity on bonds.

Makes sense.

Keep your eyes open. For years I bought batteries at Radio Shack. Why only batteries? Because that’s all they ever had of interest. Yesterday I bought a battery to replace one in Susan’s cordless. The bloody thing was $24 — more than three times the price on Batteries.com. Worse, Radio Shack’s technology was awful. It was nickel-cadmium, while Batteries.com was nickel metal hydride. Much better.

I looked around my local Radio Shack store. It was pathetic. There was nothing to buy. Nothing. In my brain, I had a vision of all the wondrous gadgetry  I’d just seen at the Consumer Electronics Show. Then I looked around the Radio Shack store and I saw nothing. It was like the store was being stocked by someone who hated technology and customers.

What didn’t I do look around earlier? I could have sold this dog short six months ago and gotten rich beyond my wildest dreams.

Is it still shortable? I bet it will go to $5 soon.  But that’s not as delicious as shorting it at $15 last summer. Dumb me.

The moral of this story: Keep your eyes open.

How to keep your PC running well. Shut it off completely and regularly — at least twice a day.

Why Russia blocked the UN condemnation vote against Syria. I was perplexed. Then I found three reasons:

1. Syria hosts Russia’s only military base on the Mediterranean.

2. Syria is the largest importer of Russian weapons in the Middle East. Assad’s regime has signed contracts for 24 MiG-29M/M2 fighter jets and eight Buk-M2E air-defense systems. Another deal for anti-ship defenses armed with supersonic cruise missiles is in the works. Why annoy a big customer?

3. Russia saw what happened with Libya when it didn’t oppose the UN resolution. Regime change is bad for the arms business.

How to save at Home Depot. Reader Bruce Mitchell sends son Michael a tip which “will earn me (Daddy) some kudos.”

How to get your hair done. A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

” Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking Continental,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”

“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser.. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?”

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome ‘s Tiber River called Teste.”

“Don’t go any further.. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class.. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”

“Oh, really! What’d he say ?”

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

When it’s finally time to trust your husband.

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. “Hi Darling”, he says, “Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?”

Harry Newton who has a few more travel tips (from today’s New York Times Avoiding Baggage Fees

+  Boook on Southwest (two free bags) or JetBlue (one free).

+ Get an airline-branded credit card, where the benefits include checking the first bag free, getting free access to special airport lounges (a perk that can cost up to $100 for two passes), receiving double-mileage points for every mile flown on that airline, and priority boarding before other travelers. Some cards offer sign-up bonuses of as much as 40,000 miles, annual $99 companion certificates and 20 percent discounts on in-flight food, beverages and entertainment. But passengers need to weigh the benefits carefully, since many cards charge an annual fee that ranges from $55 to as much as $450.

+ Use vacuum-seal bags inside her carry-on bags, she said; the bags, which shrink down to a compact package when air is pulled out by a vacuum cleaner. Hence you can carry  more items in a carry-on.

And don’t forget to get on the plane as early as possible. Overhead bins fill fast.