The market inches up, making us all geniuses.
A rabbi crossing the road is hit by a truck. A passerby calls 911 and attends to the rabbi.
The passerby doesn’t know what to do, but takes off his coat, covers the rabbi and asks him, “Rabbi, are you comfortable?”
The rabbi replies, “I make a living.”
I played 2 1/2 hours tennis yesterday. From 7-9:30 AM. Azure blue skies. Perfect 70 degree weather. It was glorious.
I don’t think you’re being creative enough. Put your thinking caps on.
A contest for the worst investment ever. Here are the candidates:
+ A gay bar in Uganda.
+ A shopping center in La Quinta California in which your anchor tenant is a thrift shop.
+ A fully rented shopping center in Rhode Island with Radio Shack, Sears, KMart, Blockbuster, JC Penney, Fortunoffs, and Filene’s Basement as the tenants.
Please add your candidates in the Comments below. We’ll award some appropriate prizes in the next few days.
The best comment so far (from Barry Merchant)
I don’t have any other candidates, but I have a suggestion for the prize.
A 3 week* vacation on Carnival Cruise Lines.
*3 weeks or until fire, the onset of infectious disease, loss of sanitary facilities, loss of power or running aground…… whichever comes first.
Get your comments in. Barry is not excited about cruising. But clearly some investors are:
The American public is still going on cruises? Go figure.
The biggest bargain: Amazon’s Prime free shipping service. It’s going up, from $75 to $99. But it’s still a bargain. Writes Amazon to me:
We are writing to provide you advance notice that the price of your Prime membership will be increasing. The annual rate will be $99 when your membership renews on December 28, 2014.
Even as fuel and transportation costs have increased, the price of Prime has remained the same for nine years. Since 2005, the number of items eligible for unlimited free Two-Day Shipping has grown from one million to over 20 million. We also added unlimited access to over 40,000 movies and TV episodes with Prime Instant Video and a selection of over 500,000 books to borrow from the Kindle Owners’ Lending Library.
As You Slide Down the Banister of Life Through 2014 — (these are funny), remember:
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It’s called … `Ministers Do More Than Lay People’
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes, Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned your entire house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen — just vending machines and a large trash can.
10. Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment…for enjoying sex.
Harry Newton who wanted to write an insightful piece about living and shopping in Southern California where everyone drives everywhere. No walking, no subways, and precious few buses, which no one takes anyway. I went to Best Buy. There were actually customers. Real life poor people. With my superior in-store research, I figured it out. They were buying their first computer so they could, in future, shop online. Best Buy has buggar-all in inventory (another lovely Australian expression).
I’ve spent more driving in parking lots than I have driving on the roads. Parking lots are dangerous. There are no rules. People drive on the left, on the right, in the middle. But the worst thing is that the parking lots are full of geriatric New York drivers who never drive, can’t drive and can’t see over the steering wheel. In short, drivers like me. It’s scary here.
Harry, not many people would disagree with your “drive everywhere” observation about Southern California. But it’s not the whole story. I was in the Austin suburbs and was asked what I thought, and I responded that had I been blindfolded I would have thought I was still in the cookie-cutter/shopping mall version of SoCal. On the other hand, we have the second largest mass-transit system in the US. And there is not one public transit company that serves just Los Angeles; there are dozens. But I believe you are in a desert community, which is a specialized area. Did you know there are over 200 cities and towns in Southern California?
UPS and FedEx will both guarantee two day delivery at ground
rates based on the location of the pickup and delivery, so the logistical
problem is moving the high volume items to warehouse that are in closer
proximity to the customers (Old USPS mail drop strategy), which is what amazon
is currently doing with the increase in warehouses. The question that should be asked of Amazon’s
two day delivery should be the actual days / hours it takes from order to
delivery of the “perfect order”. When
you begin to use actual delivery time of the “perfect” order, you realize that there
is significantly more involved than getting an order quickly to UPS or
FedEx. Orders on Thursday or even Friday
should most likely use a service such as USPS as they have Saturday delivery,
improving your overall delivery time. In addition to reduction of order returns, quickly order processing, moving an order to the right location, etc. The $99 cost is reasonable assuming you are
ordering more than 10 times a year, however with the discounts that an amazon
can force from the service provider, the increase in Amazon Prime will certainly
add to the bottom line and make what is often thought of as a cost center, into
a profit center.