My man sniffed at my buying BSV, a short-term Vanguard bond fund. Suddenly interest rates are dropping. Japan now has negative rates. And bond funds are suddenly popular, which means I could sell BSV already for a nice profit. When interest rates fall, bonds go up.
Tech is all over the map.
Amazon is falling despite reporting a record $482 million profit in its fourth quarter of 2015. Revenues were $35.6 billion, up 22% year-on-year, but short of the $35.9 billion estimated by Wall Street. Facebook has exploded after handsome earnings. Microsoft reported growth in cloud and mobile. Plenty of room for more growth in those two areas if they get themselves organized. Amazon and Google lead in cloud. Apple is cratering because the world is convinced Apple can’t find another blockbuster product. Honeywell is up.
It’s hard to play tech these days.
The banking industry is changing.
+ There are millions of startups aiming at the huge fees banks and PayPal levy on their retail vendors, e.g. Adyen. Click here. Read about Adyen in Forbes here.
+ The technology of banking is really improving. I’ve waxed about banking by phone. With JPMorgan Chase (and I’m sure others) I can deposit checks and pay my bills by wiring money. Stunning stuff.
Even better is Chase’s new fancy, ATM machine:
This wonderful machine is an ATM on steroids. With its touch-sensitive screen, it counts and reads checks, dispenses cash and gives the most wonderful receipts which has images of your deposited checks. You know what you deposited and when. It makes Muriel, my CFO, happy.
Billions, the new TV series, is on Showtime.
It’s contrived. But full of all the good stuff — insider trading, crazy people, S&M sex, conflicted government officials, power games, shrink advice, good acting and money — oodles of it.
You can watch the first episode for free here. Make sure you have a fast Internet connection. It’s also on the Showtime cable channel, which I’m guessing would be better quality. I watched it over the Internet. The video was jerky.
Crowdfunding scams
Great product. Give money. Get product when it’s finally built. Or maybe not. Maybe lose all your money. Or get taken for a scam, like the woman who begged to pay for cancer treatments for her healthy daughter.
Scams abound. It’s easy to copy an existing product, then launch your “innovation” on a a crowdfunding site. Kickstarter.com requires a working prototype. Indiegogo doesn’t. Two sites cover the field: Reddit.com/r/shittykickstarters.com and CrowdfundInsider.com.
Fraud, fraud and more fraud. Emails I’m receiving every day:
The only gift you’ll receive is a nasty virus. Don’t even think about clicking on, or responding to any of these. Erase these emails instantly, if not sooner.
Honesty in medicine (I love this one.)
An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that read:
“Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000.”
Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Aaagh! – this is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young is annoyed and comes back two days later, figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t. That is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young, now having lost $1000, leaves angrily and returns after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak: I can hardly see anything!”
Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, here’s your $1000 back” and hands him a $10 bill.
Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back. That will be $500.”
There’s a moral in this story somewhere.
Sick politics (from my Republican friends)
Bill attempted to cheer up Hillary this morning by reminding her that Nelson Mandela wasn’t elected president until after he had served 27 years in prison.
Sick Middle East humor
Abdul Jamallah ibn Ali ibn Hussein ibn Jones tries out his new Hoverboard . . . but forgets to remove his Goin’-to-Mosque-Services vest.
For the wonderful video, click here.
The Way Some Wives Think
Husband’s Text Message to wife:
Honey, I was hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays. Severe blow to head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of the right foot is a possibility. Love you……
Wife’s Response:
Who is Paula?
Harry Newton who has learned two important things:
1. Never invest in emerging markets. Reason: they never emerge. Check out Brazil, Russia, India, etc.
+ How to make the best french fries: Cut your potatoes into thick slices and then fry in duck fat. Works for kale too. Actually makes that horrid stuff edible.
If you didn’t read yesterday’s Harper’s piece on Iowa, you really should. It’s engrossing. Click here.
So Harry who are you supporting for president Hillary or Bernie?
If I’m not mistaken I believe they both want to raise your taxes a little bit…..lol
Ain’t no fool like an old fool…….
Harry, you need to apologize to your readers – both of them – for telling them not to buy the Facebook IPO. You’ve cost them a lot of money. Fortunately, I didn’t listen and the stock I paid $36 for is pushing $120.
Harry, take a look at Mylan (MYL). Everybody is crapping on the drug stocks because of the upcoming political views on nailing these guys for their outrageous pricing. However, a solid generic like MYL will be rising on the cream because they take costs out of the system. People will start to figure this out, plus they are recession resistant. Just a thought.
When you click on the “Sick Middle East Humor” you get this response…
404 Not Found The requested URL was not found on this server.
For really good French Fries cooked with only one tablespoon of olive oil…buy yourself an Acti-Fry…very healthy cooking!
Fixed…that Abdul is one funny dude!!