In Search of the Perfect Investment

The hardest part of investing

The hardest part is having cash. You’re always tempted to do something stupid — like buy something bad, invest in something stupid.

A successful real estate friend of mine didn’t buy anything for the three years after 2008. He said it was the hardest time in his life.

His patience has paid off big-time lately.

More Don’t Do Stupids

Stupids can kill you — like walking behind the Uber you just out of.

+ Don’t do long-term. My parents died of radiation from by their annual visits to radioactive waters in Bad Gastein, Germany. It took several decades of visits of “taking the waters”, but the cancer eventually got to both of them.

In short, we don’t know what the long-term consequences of anything stupid we do — like holding your cell phone to your ear or taking dietary supplements that “fix” your brain or your sex drive.

+ Stairs are the worst. Especially the last one going down.

+ The unfamiliar are even worse. Today’s news: Medics are treated German finance minister Peter Altmaier when he fell from stage after making a speech.

+ Don’t give your credit card to anyone over the phone. “Visa” called me this morning about “fraud” on a $299 charge to a Chinese merchant. They would cancel the charge and refund my money if I gave them the card’s 16-digit number. So nice of them. Do I look stupid?

+ Want a “new” laptop? Replace your battery and keyboard. Bingo, it feels like new.

+ Don’t be bullied into “upgrading” to Windows 10. Windows 7 works just fine. Many things got changed in Windows 10 for no particular reason — except to annoy me.

+ Don’t invest in Saudi Aramco. It’s going IPO this weekend. Imagine “The Rule of Law” on this one?

Good news from China

China will eliminate all restrictions on foreign investments not included in its self-styled “negative lists,” a vice commerce minister said on Tuesday. It will also “neither explicitly nor implicitly” force foreign investors and foreign companies to transfer technologies, Wang Shouwen told a news conference in Beijing.

I’m awaiting confirmation. If this is true, it’s big positive news.

Marketing words

It costs $136.09 to take Rosie to the groomer.

It costs $22 to take me to the barber, plus $5 for a tip.

Beware the fees

I recently got pitched on a money market fund that, in recent months, has been paying less than 2%, but charges a 0.45% annual expense. That’s effectively 23% in fees.

Vanguard has a similar one but charges only 0.11%. That’s a huge difference.

There are a zillion studies that show your long-term gains are reduced dramatically by heavy fees.

Apple is doing well with its AirPods

Everyone and their uncle in New York is walking around listening to podcasts and/or talking to themselves.

Apple will shortly introduce AirPods Pro. They come with active noise-canceling, water-resistance, a new form factor and ability to interact with their iPhone by touching the iPod.

The new AirPods will cost $250 — still cheaper than the high-end stuff Bose sells. I have both a set of AirPods and the Bose headphones 700, which are really good. But much much larger than the AirPods. And pricier — $399.

Playing with fate
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So while in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great!

The day she’s discharged, she leaves the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is hit by a taxi and killed.

Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live.”

“That’s true,” says God.

“So what happened?” she asks.

God shrugs. “I didn’t recognize you.”

Panicking poodle
A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.”

“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie.

“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”

Facing the consequences
A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?”

“Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”

More about Boeing

I’m back in the city, watching Boeing CEO fall on a sword and promise to do good, if he’s allowed to keep his job. I can’t imagine anyone ever flying in the 737 MAX — certainly not me or Susan.

From reader Ray:

Good article on Boeing 737 MAX.

As a pilot I can assure you that this aircraft is inherently unstable and the present design should and probably will be scrapped.

The engines are too big for the airframe which needs a complete redesign to restore the centre of gravity to the right place

There is NO WAY I will ever set foot in one even on the ground.

I believe many people will share my view and will not fly in this death trap.

BOAC’s Comets suffered from metal fatigue and broke up in flight.

The plane was grounded which caused the demise of the UK aircraft industry.

The 737 MAX is rapidly gaining the same reputation.

Airlines will not buy the aircraft if passengers refuse to fly in it.

There are many more cockroaches to come for Boeing which will probably end up in Chapter 11.

This is harsh. Personally I’m not impressed with how Boeing is handling its disaster.

If you missed yesterday’s discussion on what’s gone wrong with hedge funds, click here.