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Two ugly noses. Maybe they’re impacting the China Deal? Maybe, who knose?

We have a deal, say the Chinese.

We don’t, says Donald. But we may.

Commented one guru, “It may not sound as good as it really is because Xi does not want it to be known he gave on certain issues and loses face.”

Hence the market is up, down, and up — or as they say in Australia — up and down faster than a wh*re’s drawers. This is today, so far.

Here are two total scams

I just received them today.

Will someone please train these idiots?

Ring. Ring.

“My name is Sarino, How are you doing today?”

I’ve tried everything from “I’m dead” to “I’m sleeping.” The calls keep coming.

Once, i explained I was having a bad day. They had amputated my leg. I had a prefrontal lobotomy. And my wife had just committed suicide.

None of that did any good. They pressed on:

“OK. Let me tell you why your Vindows PC is in danger.”

As though my Vindows PC disaster matched my other minor medical disasters.

Maybe I should have told him about my recent plastic surgery that didn’t work and left me with, not one, but two ugly noses?

Send a dollar to www.PlasticSurgeryGoneWrong.com and I’ll send you a photo.

P.S. I offered $101 to buy that site. But I haven’t heard back. Drat.

There is another solution to spam calls

On your iPhone, go to Settings/Phone and scroll down. You’ll see this:

Oih vey for your wipers

Writes reader Jim Bracke:

A friend had both front wiper blades ripped off his car in a drive-through car wash. Most new cars have a wiper setting which turns them on when rain hits the windshield. My friend left that setting on.

When the drive-through washing turned on the wipers, brushes caught the blades and ripped them off. The blade stems kept swishing back and forth and finally destroyed the windshield.

The car wash said it wasn’t liable.

I’ll resist making jokes about its business all washed up.

Your kid’s resume

+ It should stress what they accomplished at all those previous jobs.

+ Your kid’s cover letter should stress what he/she can accomplish for their prospective new employer.

My daughter, the Whirling Dervisher

She stayed for a day, assessed that my bathroom was full of cr*p, and proceeded to organize it..

She motivated me. I’ve been throwing cr*p out ever since.

I measure my progress by large trash cans.

Which is more exciting than owning a stock that’s going up, like Apple and Adobe today.

For pondering this weekend:

Life is wonderful. But technology is even better.

You can now buy an Air Purifier with WiFi:

I photographed this box which a millennial was carrying on the New York subway yesterday.

Why. I asked, would anyone want an air purifier with WiFi?

He answered his wife was pregnant with their first child. He wanted to make sure he fathered the perfect child.

Is this kid going to be spoiled or what?

He bought the air purifier at Costco for half the price on Amazon.

I’m glad I own shares of both companies. I bought more shares of Costco today. It’s down a little.

See you Monday. — Harry Newton

 

 

 

 

  • Dman

    If I had to guess who would be the most terrified person walking the streets of Washington DC today I would say “Lisa Page”.

    A very very bad, and a very very dirty girl. But she was stupid, she believed them. Now she will pay. And she knows it.

    Harry did you know that CNN’s Jake Tappers’ wife’s favorite restaurant in Washington DC is Comet Ping Pong Pizza?

    Who is dirtier John Podesta or Valerie Jarrett? Possibly the #1 and #2 most evil people outside of Obama. I’m going with Valerie Jarrett. And yea, I know that Podesta killed his own son but I’m sticking with Jarrett. Seth Rich was not Podesta’s son.

    Who was Chester Bennington?

  • Dman

    Harry the next time you see a NYC cop ask him if the NYC Detectives and the NY FBI are still pissed-off about the “Weiner Laptop.”

    Maybe you can capture the cops response with your phone and post it on you blog for all to see…..LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The Great Awakening
    Trust The Plan
    WWG1WGA
    Q

  • Dman

    Harry how are adjusting to the new reality of House and Senate Republicans telling their evil dem opposition to not only “shove it” but also adding the occasional “go to hell” too?

    New Day…..

    The Hunters become the Hunted…..

    Harry ask your attorney daughter how many Fed and Circuit Judges Senator McConnell has had approved just this year. Also ask her what the makeup of the once super liberal 9th Circuit is now.

    ……sorry to ruin your day Harry but as hopefully you’re beginning to understand the TRUTH is…..your beloved evil dem party and their handlers the evil media are finished.

    The Great Awakening
    Trust The Plan
    WWG1WGA
    Future Proves Past
    Q

  • Dman

    Harry, just wait until you see the FISA’s that were illegally granted on both Gen Mike Flynn and Sen Ted Cruz. I say let’s get this ridiculous Impeachment Trial to the Senate so that Sen Cruz can begin a direct line of questioning. Now Harry even you have got to admit that sounds like some real fun……LOL!!!

    “Biblical-Biblical-Biblical-……”

    Harry get your daughter to look up on Pacer.gov how many “Sealed Indictments” are currently sitting on US Attorneys General desks (130K+). Then ask her what would be the usual amount of sealed indictments the US Attorney General office would produce over this period of time (26 months, historically approx 3.5K). Then ask her to define the term(s) “Mother Of All Shit Storms” and/or “Whistling Past The Grave Yard,” having her use “legal ease” of course.

    2020 gunna be fun-fun-fun!!!!!

    The Great Awakening
    Trust The Plan
    WWG1WGA
    Q

  • Dman

    Harry do you have even a remote idea on the amount of DIRT and FILTH that Trump has on both Schumer and Gillibrand? If you did know you would immediately begin supporting President Trump. Both Schumer and Gillibrand will face The Death Penalty.
    Schumer is a traitor…..
    Gillibrand and her family are into sex trafficking….big time…think NXIVM.

    Q IS REAL

  • Dman

    Harry do you remember telling us that there was no media bias towards the evil dems?
    Harry do you understand that you possess zero ability to use logic, along with never developing any real life decrement? If not, please don’t worry because you will most certainly be shown 100% proof of your total inadequacies.

  • Dman

    FakeNews says: “Qanon is a ridiculous conspiracy theory”…..blablabla….

    What then happens when that FakeNews evil media lie is proven 100% completely wrong?
    Then evil dems all around the world begin begging for mercy.
    There will be no mercy, not a scintilla.

    ……best of luck

    The Great Awakening
    Trust The Plan
    WWG1WGA
    Future Proves Past
    They Never Thought She Would Lose
    PAIN
    Q

  • Dman

    Harry is it possible to travel from Northern California to Denver Colorado completely through a gigantic underground tunnel system?

    Harry—-repeat after me: “Biblical-Biblical-Biblical”….

    Harry—Please post calling me a nut case, I want screen shots of your stupid comments for future bitch slapping sessions.

  • Dman

    Qanon is a ridiculous conspiracy theory…..blablabla….

    What then happens when that FakeNews evil media lie is proven 100% completely wrong?

    Then evil dems all around the world begin begging for mercy.

    There will be no mercy, not a scintilla.

    ……best of luck

    The Great Awakening
    Trust The Plan
    WWG1WGA
    Future Proves Past
    They Never Thought She Would Lose
    PAIN
    Q

  • Dman

    Trump could have destroyed the evil dem party 2 years ago, so why didn’t he? Because Trump is ALL ABOUT DESTROYING THE MEDIA. Destroy the media and you destroy the evil dem party too. Think of it as a 2 for 1…..LOLOL!!!

    Harry, think of me watching many many members of the world wide evil media complex being perp-walked.

    THE END OF FAKE NEWS=THE END OF THE EVIL DEMS.

    …….it’s really no more complex than that.

  • Dman

    Harry do you remember telling us that there was no media bias towards the evil dems?
    Harry do you understand that you possess zero ability to use logic, along with never developing any real life decrement? If not, please don’t worry because you will most certainly be shown 100% proof of your total inadequacies.

  • Dman

    Harry do you have even a remote idea on the amount of DIRT and FILTH that Trump has on both Schumer and Gillibrand? If you did know you would immediately begin supporting President Trump. Both Schumer and Gillibrand will face The Death Penalty.
    Schumer is a traitor…..
    Gillibrand and her family are into sex trafficking….big time…think NXIVM.
    Q IS REAL

  • Dman

    Harry…..you just keep repeating to yourself exactly what the evil media wants you to believe “Giuliani is a fool….Giuliani is incompetent….Giuliani is corrupt….Giuliani has nothing.”

    ……Don’t worry Harry, the evil media would never lie to you…LOLOL!!!

    Question: Who said this: ”…..son-of-a-bitch, he got fired.”

    Answer: Corn Pop

    …….it’s going to be Biblical, Thank You President Trump.

    “The Hunters have become the Hunted”……Q

  • Dman

    Harry the only Trump tweet you need to look out for in the future will be the tweet that says:

    “THE STORM IS UPON THEM”

    When you see that tweet don’t be in NYC and don’t be in upstate NY either.

    “At some point they will not be able to walk the streets”…..Q

    ……you had better believe it

  • Dman

    Harry do you have even a remote idea on the amount of DIRT and FILTH that Trump has on both Schumer and Gillibrand? If you did know you would immediately begin supporting President Trump. Both Schumer and Gillibrand will face The Death Penalty.

    Schumer is a traitor…..
    Gillibrand and her family are into sex trafficking….big time…think NXIVM.

    Q IS REAL

  • Dman

    Harry do you remember telling us that there was no media bias towards the evil dems?

    Harry do you understand that you possess zero ability to use logic, along with never developing any real life decrement? If not, please don’t worry because you will most certainly be shown 100% proof of your total inadequacies.

  • Dman

    Has anyone seen or heard from Debbie Wasserman Schultz or the Awan brothers?

    AG Barr tells us US Attorney Huber is investigating The Clinton Foundation and US Attorney Durham is investigating The FISA Abuses. I wonder which US Attorney is investigating DWS/Awan Brothers/60+ House Democrats?

    Harry I’ll bet you can’t wait to find out…..LOLOL!!!!

    President Trump is not going to defeat the evil dem party, oh no, Trump is going to destroy the evil dem party and then deposit its remains into THE TRASH-BIN OF HISTORY!!!

    THANK GOD for President Trump.

  • Dman

    Harry……. Let me be the first to congratulate you on this wonderful news. Please write a few paragraphs telling us how proud you are of New York and New Jersey now issuing driver’s licenses to ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!
    Just a tremendous day for all of New York and especially the Newton family.
    CONGRATS HARRY!!!!!

    Trump 2024
    The Great Awakening
    WWG1WGA
    Future Proves Past.
    Q

  • Dman

    Harry……. Let me be the first to congratulate you on this wonderful news. Please write a few paragraphs telling us how proud you are of New York now issuing driver’s licenses to ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!

    Just a tremendous day for all of New York and especially the Newton family.

    CONGRATS HARRY!!!!!

    Harry I’m guessing Tessa Majors was stabbed to death by a group of white thugs, possibly Jewish. You know how violet they can be, just like those crazy Jews in Jersey City that instigated that violence.

    Trump 2024
    The Great Awakening
    WWG1WGA
    Future Proves Past.
    Q

  • Mike Nash

    Where is TRump saying we don’t have a deal?!!!! Harry, you gotta stop making stuff up!

    • harrynewton

      Why do you continue reading my blog if you don’t believe it?

      • Mike Nash

        I’m asking where did you see that Trump said we don’t have a deal? Here’s where I’ve seen that he said we DO have a deal: the NY Times; CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, Huffington Post, Politico, and many others…so I’ll ask again, please cite your source quoting Trump as saying we don’t have a deal with China?

        • Mike Nash

          I omitted Fox News, which also quoted Trump as saying we have a deal.

          • Dman

            Mike…..you’re calling out an uptown NYC liberal for using FakeNews to make his point? Harry and his family are so controlled by the “politically correct” liberal mantra that they believe their actions to always be moral and compassionate. But as you and I both know the Newton family politically correct mind set is going to come back and bite them in the ass BIG TIME! Harry’s going to find out that what I’ve been telling him for years is actually very very true: “just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you’re smart.” The Newton family is going to find that out in spades.

  • Dman

    Harry, I cant wait to see the look on your face when you find out that Hillary Clinton was arrested in Nov 2017, confessed to all of her crimes on video, had an electronic chip surgically installed, was given a cell phone and is now working for Trump in order to save her life. You can assume the same about Huma too.

    I’m sure you think i’m crazy.

    …………perfect.

    Trump 2024

    The Great Awakening
    WWG1WGA
    Q

  • Mike Nash

    Harry, you’re no longer using “whore’s”? You used to spell out the actual word. And come on, not spelling out the word “crap”? That’s just silly. I’ve seen that word in the New York Times, as in a congressman saying that “Trump is full of crap.”
    I don’t come here to feel like I’m reading a church bulletin.

  • Kent Kjellgren

    Harry, your comments about how to respond to pest calls was nearly as funny as James Veitch. He is all over youtube if you haven’t seen any of his stuff.