Readers bemoan their idiocy. Their passport expired too few months to allow them to travel. The airline bumped them. They rushed back into the city (in my case Boston), got a new passport and went on their happy way a day or two later.
Worst was answwering the children’s question: “Isn’t there an app for extending a passport?”
So, drop everything, look at your passport. If it expires in fewer than six months, you need a new passport.
There are a myriad ways to get a new passport. I got mine at the Boston Passport Agency, part of the State Department. You’ll recognize it when you’re there. It’s adorned with neatly-framed pictures of Trump, Vance and Rubio. You don’t have to look at the pictures. I did and was impressed with the quality of the photography and the frames (not gold).
One of the charms of being an ex-businessman (i.e. me) is to ask yourself dumb questions like:
+ Why do passports ever expire? Why ten years? Why not twenty? Why not forever?
+ What do you need to stand in line in Europe, when the airline has all your information and has already given it to the powers-that-be overseas — long before your plane (or you) ever arrived on their haloed shoes?
+ Why do credit cards expire? Surely they want me to keep on spending?
+ Why do credit cards even exist? I’m pleased to report: My iPhone now works on everything from the New York City Subway (thank you Janno) to a tiny convenience store in the middle of nowhere Latvia (or was it Lithuania?).
+ Why do credit cards have numbers printed on them. My Apple/Goldman Sachs one doesn’t. I feel much safer giving it to a tattooed, nose-ringed, eyebrow-pierced waitress. I know that’s not DEI. But that was last year! Now I’m free to say what I like.
Next important travel tip
Never, ever check luggage.
I waited two and a half hours for JetBlue to deliver my teeny tiny bag to luggage carousel 18 in Amsterdam. The JetBlue business class fare was cheaper than Delta.
But the wait for the bag killed all my love for JetBlue.
Worse, JetBlue has a seriously stupid rule that you can only take two bags on the plane — even though business class overhead bins are empty. I routinely take three bags onto Delta. business class.
Last important travel tips
Eat before you get onto a Europe-bound trip. Get on the plane. Don your sleep mask and drop off.
You’ll feel better the next day.
There is no cure for jet lag, except sleep. There are pills, of course. But one thing you learn from Dan Brown is that everything has long-term consequences. That includes all the the stuff that works on your brain. That’s the little machine you wish to last you 100 years. (Or at least, I do.).
Take engrossing amusement along
Tip: Buy two copies: One for you and one for your wife. Otherwise. your nose will be in the book and not paying attention to her every need and want! As I do, most of the time.
The Nana Golden Beach Resort in Crete
We finally ended up at a water park/tennis resort in Heraklion, Crete.
It’s perfect for entertaining grandchildren. Pools and water slides everywhere. For me, it has excellent Wi-Fi (that’s where this blog is coming from) and 20 or so gorgeous tennis courts of all surfaces and gorgeous tennis pros.
Crete is loaded with water parks. It seems that the town is served by Europe’s low-cost budget airlines, like Transavia (the one we caught from Amsterdam). To be low-cost, they insist that all their passengers be legless, since there’s so space for legs and they don’t fit in the overhead bins.
Our Nana Gollden Beach Resort is full of overweight Germans, who commented to me that they like the place because “it’s cheap.”
They also have a catchy phrase here “All the food you can eat, All the time.”
Back to Dan Brown
The book keeps you engrossed with:
1. A fast-moving plot.
2. Psuedo-pop insights into the mind. You think you’re actually learning something. Here’s a quote from the book:
“Oui,” he said. “La petite mort.” “Yes—the little death. That’s because the self-detachment felt at orgasm is precisely the same feeling described by people who have had near-death experiences.”
That’s it for now. The grandchildren are calling me to the pool where, thankfully, I can continue eating and drinking.
Miscellaneous
If you’re using PowerPooint, make sure you leave your viewers a deck of the slides, and include the words you used when presenting. An empty PowerPoint deck is like tennis without a down-the-line backhand winner. Boring and unfilled.
My friend Frank Derfler tells me than at least 50% of the jobs young people have today didn’t exist ten years ago. My favorite remains influencer. But I do like digital nomad.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. now believes that circumcision leads to autism. Which didn’t work for me. The New York Times mused”
Or maybe Kennedy’s just totally unqualified for the job and, like many of Trump’s cabinet members, was selected to undermine the public’s faith in the establishment even further.
For now, time to play with the grandkids. And find out why they’re not interested in anything I’m interested in — and wait for this — my granddaughter Eleanor, who’s a really smart kid, has consigned this blog to her spam email.
See you soon. — Harry Newton
