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The easiest way to make a small fortune. I test Elon’s Starlink Internet service at the High Tail Ranch in Montana

I’m sitting at Countryside Dentist in Chatham, having my “teeth” cleaned. (I actually have only one left that’s mine — one God gave me.) The wonderful hygienist, Jessica Reynolds, tells me she’s “busy with a
job and children, I need a simple approach to investing.”

Well, Jessica, here goes:

+ Open an online brokerage account. They’re all free. Any one will do. I prefer

+ Put $1,000 into each of two low-cost Vanguard index ETFs — VGT and VOO.

VGT is Vanguard’s technology ETF. VOO is Vanguard’s S&P 500 ETF.

If you had done this ten years ago….

In other words, over ten years your initial $1,000 investment would now be $3,500 or $3,800. Which is pretty good for doing absolutely nothing for ten years.

Now if you had taken $100 out of your salary each month and put that $100 into each of these funds, you’d have $25,844.04 (at the 13,25%) or $27,381.95 (at the 14.32%). You can check my numbers at this website here.

This is the easiest way to invest. I wish I had written this blog ten or twenty years ago.

If you feel so inclined, you can also buy stocks of companies whose products you like — e.g. Nvidia, Apple Microsoft, Google, Meta (Facebook). But why bother?

This is Harry’s Get Rich without Effort. Now you can focus on things you really like — the kids, your job, playing the piano (or better, playing tennis), or traveling.

You could also sprinkle in some Berkshire Hathaway shares. From 1965-2023 it had a compounded annual gain of 19.8%, which is even better than VGT and VOO.

I’m making a big assumption — that the next ten years will be at least as good as the last ten years.

I think they’ll be better. However, in ten years, I’ll be 92 and dead or senile, or both. And I won’t care.

But you won’t be.

Follow my simple investment plan and you’ll be able to afford to attend my funeral.

This is my favorite tennis player giving good advice for life

Elon’s Starlink Internet Service is miraculous

I’m touristing in the boonies near Hot Springs Montana, which is sort of near Glacier National Park, probably our best national park. I’m at the High Tail Ranch, which focuses on regenerative agriculture and is well worth a visit.  Click here

I’m on Elon’s Starlink Internet service. My speed in my cabin, as measured here, is:

Here’s the tiny Starlink satellite antenna outside the cabin I’m staying in. That’s the white thing sitting on the grass.

I’m told they’re paying about $80 a month. Starlink’s full plans are here.

I researched, wrote, edited and posted this blog on that tiny little antenna sitting unmoving on the grass. Seriously amazing technology.

I don’t care what you think about Elon but he’s doing is amazing. He’s bringing the boonies into the 21st century, helping Ukraine win its war with Russia and introduce remote Amazon tribes to kinky sex. (Google that one. You’ll die laughing.)

This is the view from the balcony of the High Tail Ranch’s restaurant, where we just had an unbelievably scrumptious dinner — that exceeded any I’ve eaten anywhere in the world.  The view is to die for.

The ranch has around 350 bison. This is me being licked by Oreo, their semi-trained young 14-month old bison;

Oreo may be the only human-friendly bison in the world. Daeger Christensen, who works at the ranch, found Oreo newly-born next to her mother who had died in childbirth. Daeger rescued the bison, took her to his home, and bottle-feed Oreo for four months. Now she eats grass and likes liking New Yorkers, like me.

More techie tips

+ The ranch has tested every pickup truck known to mankind and prefers the Toyota Tundra TRD4x4 off road to all others, including Ford and GMC.

+ The longer you take to pack, the more useless garbage you’ll take on your trip.

+ Take old stuff and throw it out after you’ve worn it. Some hotels charge more to wash your clothes than you can buy them on Amazon.

+ On our way to the airport, Susan’s Mercedes came up with an ominous message, “The front passenger seatbag is shut off, i.e. your passenger (i.e. me) will die. Take the car to an authorized dealer fast.”

Better solution: Stop the car. Turn off the engine. Wait one minute and start it again. Bingo, the seatbag error message has disappeared. And the seatbag is working again. And I’m not going to die.

Reboot laptops, phones, washing machines. These days they’re all computers. They all need rebooting.

+ This is a beautiful monitor. The HP EliteDisplay E273, 27″ tiltable computer monitor with a nice silver stand. I used one the other night and could finally read emails. Thank you HP.

$398.00 on Amazon and worth every penny. Click here.

+ I’m an idiot. I left my Subaru in Drive overnight and flattened the battery. So now I had to jump start it with Susan’s Mercedes. I had to open the bonnets (also called hoods) on both cars to join the jumper cables.

Who can remember how to open car bonnets?

I can now. I took pictures. The first is the Mercedes. The second is my Subaru.

Wonderful Herman cartoons

Our High Tail Ranch

Our High Tail Ranch is teaming with elk and grizzlies. They’ve promised me a tame grizzly to pet tomorrow. (Only a dumb New Yorker would make that request.) There’s a store around here that sells grizzly claws (made in China — where else?). The local tribes run a casino up the road, where they guarantee to take all your money.

Montana is teaming with entrepreneurs selling healthy drinks LMNT  to whole bisons for eating. Bison meat is healthy and delicious.

The state does neat stuff — for example, in rural communities, they run schools heavy from Monday through Thursday, then let the kids out on Friday to help with chores on the ranch.

Please visit Montana. Stay at the High Tail Ranch. Savor their food. Enjoy the luxury of air conditioned “cabins.” Get licked by Oreo. Enjoy the baby bison. I took this photo only a few hours ago.

Make sure you meet Brittany and Jon Sepp, who brilliantly run the place with major Montana warmth and charm. Watch their kid Cindy do mountain gymnastics. She’s good. Tell them Harry sent you. — Harry Newton