In Search of the Perfect Investment

Last night I wrote some platitudinous nonsense about sticking with good companies even in a bad market, i.e. ignore the big bumps down.

But it ain’t easy when your wealth craters — even if it’s only for a day or two or three. The bumps down tend to be bigger than those up. Mr. Market has a short-term mean streak.

Panic is not good. Hence it’s good I’m in a car on the way from Boston seeing baby Sophie to Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine, The Newton Family has endowed a small scholarship fund. Every year it helps put a deserving kid through college. One day one of them will be president of the United States. Couldn’t do worse than the awful candidates we have for 2016.

The day is gorgeous. Bright blue skies. Buds on the trees. Construction of buildings, highways and bridges seemingly everywhere. This part of the world doing great — judging also by the many trucks and cars on the road.

In this squirrelly market, I look for good companies going bad, or semi-bad or not living up to expectations. And I watch my stop loss rule — I’m now at 10% to 11% — which seems to work better in this volatility. Hence I have a little more cash. But I’m not preaching Cash is King.

I’m also scouring for bargains. This morning Whole Foods (WFM) fell 10% after issuing — what I thought — was a perfectly fine, upbeat earnings report, along with nice growth plans.

I’ve always liked Whole Foods. We shop there. We eat their stuff. I bought some more WFM.

I am looking for an imminent financial disaster –a la dot com crash, sub-prime mortgage etc, There’s plenty of minor irksomes (think Greece) and volatility out there — like oil prices, rising bond yields….but nothing spelling Major Disaster. Not that I see.

Still, everyone likes to make predictions — remember yesterday Goldman Sachs predicted $30 oil? (It’s now over $60.)

VectorVest makes predictions. It’s actually pretty good at picking market turns. Last night they said:

VV indicators gave a confirmed market DOWN signal today.

STRATEGY: Wall Street ended in negative territory today after Fed Chair Janet Yellen warned of high valuations. Therefore, with three red lights and a Confirmed Down situation:

Prudent Investors should remain on the sidelines.

Aggressive Investors and Traders should play the market to the downside.

Take that with the grain of salt you give all “learned” predictions.

Met Gala 2015. The red carpet at the Costume Institute Gala, an annual fund-raiser for the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute, is a crossroad of the arts, fashion and entertainment. Anna Wintour issues the dress code with the Costume Institute’s fashion exhibition in mind. This year’s show is “China: Through the Looking Glass.”

Last night, Susan and Claire critiqued each dress. There were millions of them, all nicely displayed in the New York Times. This is my favorite:

This is Rosie Alice Huntington-Whiteley. She’s an English model and actress. She is best known for her work for lingerie retailer Victoria’s Secret and for being one of their prestigious brand ‘Angels’ too. Here she’s wearing Atelier Versace.

You can see all the other outfits (men and women and Mr. and Mrs George Clooney). Click here.

The best blonde joke
A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an ‘exotic’ pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs The sign says: SEX FROGS. Only $20 each. Comes with complete instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, ‘I’ll TAKE one!’ As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, ‘Just follow the instructions!’

The blonde nods, grabs the box , and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie..
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and NOTHING happens! The blonde is disappointed and upset. She re-reads the instructions. At the bottom, it says, ‘If you have any problems or questions , please call the pet store.’

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, ‘I’ll be right over.’ Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, ‘See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions. The frog just SITS there!’

The man , looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and STERNLY says:

LISTEN TO ME. I’m only going to show you how to do this ONE MORE TIME!!!’

Harry Newton, who’ll be in Brunswick for a couple of days visiting the College and meeting with kids who want to be entrepreneurs. Should be fun.