The Feds will raise interest rates this afternoon.
The information has been absorbed. Stock prices are on the rise.
It will not be off to the races. But earnings, prospects and old-fashioned stock picking will be back.
That’s good.
My dumb investment decision.
Well, that was exciting until the reality set in.
There’s no way I can justify putting $1.2 million into an investment (a small one-bedroom apartment) paying 2% cash-on-cash. That means that after deducting the expenses of maintenance and taxes from the rental revenue, I end up earning $24,000 a year. Or 2%.
To make it worthwhile, I have to assume that it’s going to appreciate at 8% to 10% a year. That in five years it will be worth $1.94 million — after the expenses of selling it. No way. To get that sort of return, I have to buy ultra-cheap — which it’s not — or I have to do something to substantially boost its value — rehab, change the nature, etc. None of which I can do. So adding value is not realistic. (The kitchen is new.)
What really brought reality home was an email from a very dear and very savy friend:
Why are you so desperate to place cash? You don’t listen to your own advice which is to stay liquid and hold cash? The world is very unstable. What is ur urgency to invest, other than boredom? Go on vacation, take a cooking class, go play tennis (you like that), go to a movie, read a book, write a book, and just chill out. In the best case scenario we have a few more years of goodness. The money will all be made when the markets tank, not just before they approach their peak. The writing is all over the wall. Junk bonds are toast and so are all the retail investors as there is no liquidity.
Apart from that suddenly people I have never seen before are real estate developers building multi-family everywhere. It’s like basic dinner conversation. Restauranteurs are opening boutique hotels, everyone wants to build or gut renovate a project. Harry Newton wants to buy apartments in NYC at 2 caps because they are irreplaceable. These are all behaviors that occurred in 2006. Why has everyone got memory loss? You are a rich guy Harry. Keep your dough, you don’t need to prove to the world that you can invest better and smarter today. The smartest guys are betting the down cycle or cashing out to be prepared for the next cycle of opportunity…
Time to play tennis.
The Weird Way Jimmy Kimmel Lost Weight. Starvation. Then bingeing. It worked. Click here.
Subscription chutzpah. The New Yorker asked me to renew my subscription — though it doesn’t expire until November, 2018. Yes, that’s three years from now!
Watch your subscription renewals. Your subscription hasn’t expired and you don’t have to respond by their “deadline” date.
Never order a special meal on an airline.
It will kill your chances of an upgrade. Here’s why:
If they look at upgrading you at the last minute, they won’t have a special meal in first class to serve you.
Hence you won’t be upgraded.
Best airline tip ever.
Getting weirder and weirder
Rabbi Sentenced for Role in Divorce-Coercion Ring
TRENTON – An Orthodox rabbi was sentenced on Monday to more than three years in prison for his role in a ring of Jewish men who used brutal methods and tools, including handcuffs and electric cattle prods, to torture unwilling husbands into granting their wives religious divorces.
The rabbi, Martin Wolmark, 57, of Monsey, N.Y., had pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit extortion. Ten men in all were convicted for their roles in the plot.
The plot began to come apart after Rabbi Wolmark was recorded by an undercover agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation who posed as a woman seeking a religious divorce, known as a “get.” Rabbi Wolmark put the woman and another agent posing as her brother in touch with a fellow Orthodox rabbi, Mendel Epstein, who was convicted of conspiracy to commit kidnapping and is to be sentenced on Tuesday. Rabbi Epstein was acquitted of attempted kidnapping.
Jewish law mandates that the get be presented by a husband to a wife to make a divorce official.
The female undercover agent testified that Rabbi Wolmark had said she needed “special rabbis” to get the job done. She said he told her that Rabbi Epstein was a “hired hand” who could be “very helpful” to them.
The two agents told Rabbi Wolmark that the woman’s husband in Argentina would not divorce her, even after they were “shaken down” for more than $20,000. Rabbi Wolmark warned the agents it could be a costly process and recommended Rabbi Epstein, according to the recording.
“You need to get him to New York to harass him or nail him, plain and simple,” Rabbi Wolmark is heard telling the agents, in reference to the husband.
After meeting with Rabbi Epstein, Rabbi Wolmark set up a rabbinical court that determined the husband could be coerced. Eight men then traveled from New York to a warehouse in Edison, N.J., intending to confront the man.
Instead, they were arrested.
Appealing to my twisted brain. If you buy this book,
Amazon will tell you the good news, namely it will arrive before Christmas!
More Irish “humor”
The Irish patient hobbled into the Surgery waiting room.
“I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I’d hate to feel like this if I was well!”
+++++
Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics.
He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbors to pay their last respects.
“He’s got a great tan,” Mrs Doolan from next door mused. “The holiday did him the world of good.”
“And he looks so calm and serene,” said Mrs McGuiness.
“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet,but when he wakes up, the shock will surely kill him!”
+++++
“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”
“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.
+++++
Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding.
“Are ya dead?” cried Gallagher from above.
“To be sure I am,” replied Murphy.
“You are such a liar Murphy that I don’t know whether to believe you or not!” called Gallagher.
“That proves I’m dead,” said Murphy’s voice from the rubble below, “because if I was alive you wouldn’t be game to call me a liar!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dublin’s contestant in an international quiz was waiting for his first question.
“First, what’s your name and occupation?” The show host asked.
“Pass”, came the reply.
Harry Newton who’s smarting from his own idiocy. All investment decisions should have a mandatory 24-hour “Thinking Time.” Sleep on the idea. Give you the time to mull: Are you paying too much? What’s the plan? (Hope is a not a plan.) Are you selling yourself (again)? Why are you obsessing over cash burning a hole in your pocket? Stop feeling guilty that you’re “unproductive.” Cash is being put “to work” when it’s in cash.
“Pharmaceutical CEO Martin Shkreli arrested on securities fraud charges.”
Real smart huh? Seen that two miles away. Now what will happen to a slime bag like that in jail?
Isn’t it exciting to know how much we will make on our bank savings now that the Fed finally raised the interest rates!!!!!!! What a joke…kept everyone in suspense for only about a year.
“I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I’d hate to feel like this if I was well!” Welcome to old age. Not for the weak or fearful.
Subscription notices…Norton sent me one about 6 weeks early….I normally wait but this time I grabbed a discount coupon and extended my warranty. 6 weeks later my Norton protection expired. Seems they gave me a new subscription instead of an extension to my existing one. They had to take over my computer to make the correction then told me they could not fix Norton on my other computer. I told them either to go to my account and fix it or cancel my subscription and refund my money. They fixed it.