In Search of the Perfect Investment

I despair of airlines and of my happy future travel.

My software genius friends tell me we will all suffer regular, horrendous travel problems. Expect them.. The IT systems that run the world’s major airlines are cobbled together with young, old, unreliable bits and pieces of software and hardware that are (1) Too expensive to fix properly, and (2) An airline management focused on squeezing the last few nickels of profit from each plane trip. Remember the idea that one airline exec floated around — charging for in-air bathroom visits? It never got quite there. But you get the message.

Delta’s entire system went out last Monday. But they got planes going by the next day. I figured that my flight on the Wednesday would be fine. I got up at 4:00 AM, schlepped to Newark for a 7:00 AM flight to Salt Lake City. At 6:40 AM, sitting in the terminal, I receive this text message:

The next morning, I get up at 4:00 AM, schlepp to Newark Airport and actually get on a plane. We’re all set to go at 7:00 AM. Then the pilot comes on. He has a problem with a screen, then a computer, then a switch, then something else which only United had the part for.  Fetching it would take an hour. The plane eventually took off five and hours later. By then, I was off the plane and happily back in bed at home sleeping. Had I stayed on, I would have missed all connections that day to Redmond, Oregon, where I was headed (to see the grandkids).

I gave up on flying Delta last week. But that meant dealing with them on the phone about refunds. That took multiple phone calls and oodles of time and patience I was lacking.Delta doesn’t tell you what they’re refunding or send you an email with their accounting. Heck, even eBay is better.

Susan had managed to get to see the grandkids in Oregon. She came back on Delta from Portland  on Saturday night. Her flight was delayed and delayed and eventually left just under three hours late.

Lessons from all this:

1. Don’t ever check luggage. When my flight was cancelled, I could pick myself up and go home. My fellow passengers stood in a line in front of one (only one) Delta agent while they attempted to re-route themselves and their luggage onto flights that were still working (maybe). I had my luggage. I left the airport. Peace of mind.

If you do check luggage, put a copy of your itinerary into your suitcase. Also a copy of your hotel bookings for the next week. It can take that long to get your suitcase back from wherever it went, to
your location. My best luggage idea is to sneak on a larger bag. I’ve had total success with a 25″ monster Eagle Creek bag. It fits sideways in an overhead bin. Click here. Just get on quickly while there’s still space left in the overhead bins.

 2. Don’t do stupid. Don’t lift your Don’t do stupid. Like trying to lift your heavy bag into an overhead bin. There are always lots of strong young men, if you ask politely.

3. Try not to book connecting flights. These days you should assume that every flight will be three hours late. My return trip from Copenhagen to Newark on SAS was, in fact, three hours late. Fortunately I had no connecting flight. So, I wandered the Copenhagen airport, while waiting. I bought a pair of reading glasses for Susan and three pairs of socks (for $10) for me. I also sat and worked in SAS’s comfortable lounge. I would have been crazy if I had had a connecting flight from Newark. Even with a two hour layover, I would have missed the flight.

4. Drive somewhere nice. Or go private. For shorter trips, private makes huge sense.

5. Don’t fly Delta. That’s an obvious one. Sometimes you have no choice. Moreover, computer glitches are increasingly common to the airlines. Southwest Airlines canceled more than 2,000 flights last month, blaming the problem on a faulty network router. United Airlines and Alaska Airlines blamed computer glitches last year for pricing snafus. But it’s not only the computer or the telecom network. The airlines no longer keep adequate spare parts, nor pay for spare staff. Thursday’s cancelled flight was allegedly because of a shortage of one crew member. Think about that for a moment: One crew member cancelled an entire flight, messing up the travel plans of 200 people. and destroying Delta’s reputation! The Economist has a piece:

 You can read the Economist’s depressing findings here.

6. Stay on top of the money. Delta says it’s refunding my fares — they weren’t cheap — but I’ve seen nothing. No emails. No refund notices. No numbers. They talk about my seeing it in the next billing cycle, or two. I’ve read that Delta is actually sending $200 cash for your long delays and paying your out of pockets for travel to and from airports. So far, I’ve heard nothing. It’s hard to summon up the energy to call them — again.

Delta’s management is totally out of touch with its customers. Two and a half days after my first flight was cancelled, Delta actually sent me this email.  “Harry. We Value Your Opinion.”

I apologize for all the words about my airline ails. But the lessons are important for your future semi-travel happiness. Here’s Delta stock over the past 12 months. I bet it’s going lower. It certainly deserves to.

Nice entrepreneurial idea. Seen in Bend, Oregon. Photo by son, Michael.

CHECK. CHECK. CHECK. 

Seems if you’re trying to get me to give you money for your shiny new startup, I shouldn’t receive this when I go to the video you made for me. Check. Check. Check.

Twelve amazing photos of lions from National Geographic. First one:

For the rest, click here. Make sure you view them full-screen.

Favorite recent silly cartoons:

I can’t stop laughing at this one:

Look at it again. It’s wonderful. One second acupuncture treatment.

Harry Newton, who is in great physical condition. Biking and aggressive tennis will do that. But what Delta did to me last week with all that missed sleep seriously messed me up. It took days to recover. Hence no columns for a few days last week.  Blame Delta. Back to investing tomorrow.