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China, the Uber IPO, Don’t Do Stupid and the nesting Falcons

Everyone and their uncle is panic-ing. Tech is out of favor (for now) so it’s getting hit hard. Especially favorites like Apple, Amazon, Nvidia, and Netflix. Except Roku which is up on an upgrade on Oppenheimer. Go figure.

I don’t have a simple solution — except to grit my teeth and hope that we get a China Trade Deal.

If we don’t get a deal, higher tariffs on Chinese imports won’t significantly hurt our booming economy. That’s my opinion.

You can read a more gruesome opinion here:

What Happens if Trade Talks With China Fall Apart
Negotiations are in trouble, and that could cause serious problems for the global economy.

Click here.

I don’t believe the tales of gloom and doom. But go tell my optimism to a panic-stricken stockmarket.

Traders think trading makes money. Some do. But I’m not good at day trading.

Back to gritting my teeth.

And tomorrow UBER’s IPO.

A friend forwarded me this “Abbreviated version of the Uber prospectus.” (Hint, it’s a spoof. But it is wonderful.)

+ We don’t make money

+ We probably will never make money

+ Our current business relies on shareholders to fund cheap cab rides in the hope that regulators will let us become a monopoly and charge whatever we want but the regulators are not playing along

+ We have therefore spent more money expanding into other low margin highly competitive activities like food delivery or trucking despite there being lots of specialist logistics firms so not obvious how we are going to make any money there either

+ We hope in the future there will be driverless cars and that we can then make money because no drivers but other people are developing them too

+ We have annoyed lots of regulators so we have lots of disputes and problems with regulators

+ We don’t pay much tax and have done lots of aggressive tax planning and so we have lots of disputes and problems with tax authorities

+ We don’t employ anyone (or we say we don’t) but we have lots of de facto employees and so we have lots of disputes and problems with drivers and employment tribunals

+ We don’t actually own many assets because we managed to get our drivers to provide their own cars

+ We have an app but other cab companies also have apps

+ Current investors want to get out and so we hope you will buy some shares anyway because you have heard of us. Also we need more money to fund the new businesses that don’t make money

+ We are really big and you have heard of us plus we say we are a tech disruptor so don’t worry that we make no money it will all be great because you will be an Uber investor

I’m not buying into the UBER IPO. I’d rather play tennis — euphemism for gritting my teeth and no panic-king (spelling?)

Manhattan is obsessed with a pair of nesting falcons on a downtown office building. 

Someone stuck a webcam in their face. So the poor birds have no privacy. Some of their chicks have hatched and it looks good for them. Caution: This is not an action video. But, if you watch long enough (Susan has), you’ll glimpse the chickies (chiclets?).

Please don’t do stupid

My friend got out of his ride-share and walked behind the car. The driver backed up and cobbered my friend, knocking him to the ground. The accident didn’t do his balance any good. Some weeks later he fell down nine stairs. That messed up his wrist and his back. And his kidney starting playing up.

In case you haven’t figure this: None of us are getting any younger. Which means you will fall down stairs — unless you hold the railing.

The last stair going down is the most dangerous.

Harry Newton. Oops the hibiscus is back. Ain’t computers wonderful? I dumped BYND. Too many people like meat and are dissing Beyond Meat. Personally, I’m still off meat. And five days into Claritin, my allergies are dissipating. My energy is returning. I can type faster. Whoopee. What a measure!

Everyone seems to agree with my analysis yesterday about home prices.

The New Real Estate. Why your house is not worth anything . much.
Buying is out.
Renting is in.
Here’s why: Housing prices are falling. It’s no longer worth keeping your money in a house.

If you didn’t read it, click here.

  • Mike Nash

    You’re too optimistic about a resolution from trade talks. Trump failed in negotiations with North Korea. Failed in negotiations with Democrats to avoid a government shutdown. Failed to get MExico to pay for his wall. Failed in talks with Iran. Failure, failure, failure. He’s the worst negotiator on the planet. He has no understanding of Chinese culture. BY publicly imposing tariffs it means if the Chinese leaders back down now they lose face at home. A Chinese citizen would rather die than lose face. It’s impossible to get a deal anytime soon.

    • Ed

      Mike, you are exactly accurate about our bloated leader, President Microbrain. Donny Dunce-cap has been a failure his whole life and nobody knew that better than his own father – who sent him off to military school as a kid when everybody else we knew was going to prep school in Manhattan. This dumkopf even got rejected by Penn (runt of the Ivies & my safe school) and had to go in as a transfer in his Junior year after his father ponied up a $2 mill donation. Even then they wouldn’t take him in the Arts & Sciences school and he had to go to Wharton undergrad – where they shunt all the ones who couldn’t make the grade. He’s bamboozled the bottom 40% who enjoy his racist rants, and about half of the 1% who are so greedy they’d vote for anyone who cuts their taxes. Oh Lord, when will our tribulations end!

  • dan jacobson

    yes hold the railing! I fell down he first sunday in jan.

    the only thing that saved me was that I landed on my wallet which cushioned me from getting a broken hip, but I was sore as hell for weeks!