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Everyone is fleeing the City. There’s the pox, the plague and the prices! Oih, the prices. But there is a solution….

The solution is like everything these days: Buy your dream country house online.

They have pretty pictures. Every room. Every view. A logical floor plan. And oodles of acres land, rolling woods, verdant ponds and exquisite mountain views. There’s a whole real estate language I can’t even begin to copy.

Buy your dream house online. Just like you buy your dream stuff from Amazon .

But houses are better. You don’t even have to wait for delivery. Houses are already there.

Except…

Except we have winters in the country. It gets cold. Often it gets below freezing — 32 in one measure or zero in the other.

+ House #1: The pipe in the upstairs bathroom burst. The water spilled out. The water frooze. The floor couldn’t take the weight. And the downstairs ceiling collapsed. It was not a pretty sight. I don’t have pictures. Nor can I find them online. Surprise , surprise.

+ House #2. The sewer pipe in the basement burst. The basement was two feet deep in raw, frozen sewage. The first visitor, a local contractor,  thought the house looked normal. But something was untoward  — the smell. The smell was little off — not too bad –until you opened the door to the basement. The smell and the view of the thick green slime was ….. well, you don’t need me to describe it. I tried Googling thick green slime. Google’s photos don’t do the basement justice.

Suffice, the photos of the houses online were at least two years old. The locals were aghast at city folk buying houses for hundreds of thousands of dollars without looking at them first. “Heck,” one local told me, “We’re only two hours drive from New York.”

I won’t share with you the picture of the basement. But I hear it’s going to cost a large fortune to clean the mess — if it’s ever cleaned up.

The Stay-At-Home stocks continue to do well.

Yesterday I highlighted Apple, Amazon, Shopify, Alibaba, Square, Salesforce (CRM), Facebook, Adobe, Twilio, Trade Desk, DocuSign and Zoom. Why own any others? I do like Generac, makers of the best emergency generators.  They’re advertising on CNBC.

The CEO of new IPO RPRX was on Cramer the other night extolling his company’s virtues. I was impressed and bought some — even though it had risen strongly from its IPO price (which I didn’t get any of, as usual). It’s gone up strongly. I also bought some WEX because I liked the story. It manages expenses for  companies with fleets of trucks, often saving them huge amounts of money with the WEX fuel card — click here.

This market is weird. There’s nothing in it that’s logical — except stay-at-home stocks are popular and way over-priced. One day, some get popular. The next day some others get popular. Today it’s Shopify, Zscaler and Zoom.

We did a board meeting on Zoom today. The more I use Zoom, the more I learn about its awesome capabilities.

The greatest bargain in the history of the world

It’s Alexa on steroids. $90. Buy one for Father’s Day. Ask it to play you Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off.  You get the lyrics, too. It’s all about recovering from when things go wrong — like an affair with Mr. Right. Or a forehand you shanked into the net. Click here.

Great news. Hurry over.

Logical response

Teach your kids about puns

The benefits of country living — just discovered.

Played my 95th game of tennis this morning at 7:30 AM. Shade. Nice and cool. Trees are good.

John Bolton got a miserable $2 million advance on his “tell-all” book. But he messed up his life big-time. The Democrats hate him because he didn’t testify. The Republicans will never give him another job — because he’s a tattletale. Fortunately, no one took his advice on going to war with North Korea. We need that war like a hole in the head. I hope he finds something productive to do for the rest of his life. Does he play tennis? I’d really love to beat him on the tennis court.

See you tomorrow. Harry Newton

 

  • Scooter

    Either way, Bolton lobby’s for a job, gets the job, takes notes, tells Trump he can’t go along with his foreign policy, gets fired. Decides to try to take Trump down and make his retirement by writing a book. Doesn’t matter if it’s made up stuff or not, the people who want to believe it will buy the book. Nice Gig.

  • Mike Nash

    By accepting a “smaller” advance Bolton got a larger share of royalties. It’s anticipated that he’ll make between $50 million and $100 million on the book.

    • harrynewton

      no way. let”s say he gets $10 a book, that means that five million people will have to buy. his book. No way.