In Search of the Perfect Investment

NLY went ex-dividend yesterday and fell. My Fidelity feed showed it fell 11 cents, when it really fell 76 cents (65 plus 11).  65 was the dividend. Disconcerting. That’s the way the feeds work. Meantime, it will climb back. Yesterday (and maybe today) is the day to sell put options. Yesterday one reader sold August 18’s for 42 cents, which he said was like buying NLY for $17.58.

The SWZ buyback. If you own SWZ today, you might consider offering the stock for the company’s buyback deal, which expires today. I believe the price you get will be about 6% higher than last night’s price.

Google is taking another run at Facebook. I think this time it’s got a shot. Its big “plus” sharing with groups — like colleagues, roommates or hiking friends — not with all of one’s friends or the entire Web. It also offers group text messaging and video chat.  You can read the New York Times’ take on it here. You can see a Google demo of it here. I don’t think it will make a difference to Google’s ailing price. You can’t sign up for Google+ yet. It’s not ready.

How to display two Excel spreadsheets. Friends have multiple monitors. They want one spreadsheet on one monitor and one on the other. There are two ways of dong this:

1. Use the View side-by-side button in the View menu. Pull the Excel spreadsheet window so it covers your second monitor.

2. Open Excel twice and open a workbook in each. Then you can manipulate, drag (to your other monitor) and resize each window s you wish.

How slow it is. Citigroup Capital Partners private equity fund (also called a leveraged buoyout fund) made its first investment in late 2005 and had its final close in December 2006. As of December 31, the fund, now called StepStone Capital Partners II, had invested  $1.05 billion in 40 companies. As of December 31, 2010 the fund’s value finally moved above a loss and had a gross estimated value of 1.09x cost. If you figure five years to earn 9%, you’re looking at an annual rate of return of  1.74% which is better than losing your money — but not the 30%, 40% and 50% that private equity funds were earning in the 1980s and 1990s.

Of the 40 copanies,  20 are now worth less than what the fund paid. Some have actually been written off completely. Millions lost. 2005 to 2010 was not a good time to be in leveraged buyout.

Timing — when you get in — makes a huge difference.

What’s depressing about these funds is that you have no control, no say and your money is tied up for  SO long.

How have commodities gone? My old Strategic Commodities Fund is down 1.7% YTD (year to date). Not good. They pick a basket of representative commodities and pray. Fortunately, I got out a long while back. My fuse with managers is short. Increasingly I don’t like funds. Managers are obliged to stay in, when they really should be out. But they don’t get paid for being out.

The Book of Mormon is New York ‘s hottest musical. I went by the theater yesterday. The earliest I could get tickets (at $155 a piece) was for February 1, 2012. You can line up, however, hours in advance that day and watch that evening’s show standing up for $27.

Why do we yawn? Apparently nothing to do with sleeplessness, but to do with temperatures imbalances. If you yawn too much, try cooling your face with a wet cloth. For more, yesterday’s New York Times.

Stress and stupidity. I used to be laid up every six months with a “thrown” back. Then I figured that my bad back was due to stress — getting aggravated at something or someone — and/or stupidity — picking up a heavy box with my back, not my legs. Hence the key to a no-pain back is being careful. No lifting. Recognizing stress and stopping it quickly. Deep breaths and being intelligent about not being stupid. Regular daily exercise also works. Biking is great. Tennis is also great. I have to do something every day.

Yesterday’s New York Times’s piece by their medical reporter, Jane Brody, got me started. Here’s Jane’s piece:

Forget About Crunches. Here’s How to Protect Your Back.

If you have not suffered a vertebral fracture, adopting an exercise routine that improves posture and strengthens back muscles can go a long way toward preventing one. And if you are already plagued by back pain due to vertebral fractures, the exercises and protective movements described below may bring relief and prevent the problem from getting worse.

These guidelines and exercises have been adapted primarily from recommendations published in the medical journal Osteoporosis International.

First, it is critically important to know what not to do. Avoid those infamous stomach “crunches” and toe touches and any exercise or activity that involves twisting the spine or bending forward from the waist with straight legs.

Next, recall a mantra you may have heard often as a child: Stand up straight. Good posture — proper alignment of body parts when you stand, sit or walk — reduces stress on the spine. Lift your breastbone, and keep your head erect and shoulders back, all the while gently tightening abdominal muscles and maintaining a small hollow in your lower back.

More advice from the experts:

¶ When sitting for long periods, place a rolled towel or small pillow at the small of your back. Walk with your chin in and head upright.

¶ Learn to bend over safely from the hips and knees, not the waist. Start with your feet shoulder-width apart and keep your back straight. Do not twist; turn to face the object you wish to reach before you bend.

¶ To reach your feet (for example, to tie your shoes), sit on a chair and cross one foot at a time over the opposite knee, or stand with one foot on a stool.

¶ Lifting an object can be problematic. If possible, first get down on one knee and lift the object to your waist; then stand up, holding it close to your body.

¶ When carrying packages, use two bags with handles packed as evenly as possible, and carry one bag in each hand. If you have recently had a vertebral fracture, limit the weight you carry to 10 pounds.

Another option: Use a backpack, preferably one with straps that snap in front at the chest and waist. In fact, according to Dr. Kristine Ensrud of the University of Minnesota, one of the recommended back-strengthening exercises involves wearing a small backpacklike device containing a two-kilogram weight.

¶ Avoid overreaching. Don’t reach for objects on a shelf higher than one you can touch with both hands together.

¶ Protect your back when you cough or sneeze. Tighten your abdominal muscles, and place one hand on your back or press your back into a chair or wall for support. Alternatively, gently bend your knees and place one hand on them.

Additionally, exercise that strengthens abdominal muscles will also protect the back. Try this one: Lie on your back with knees bent, feet flat on the floor and a small pillow under your head. Tighten your abdominal muscles by pulling your pelvis and ribs together (push your rib cage toward the floor and tilt your pelvis toward it) while flattening your lower back toward the floor. Hold for five seconds, relax for five seconds, and then repeat 5 to 10 times.

Also helpful is strengthening your core. The Pilates plank exercise, which looks like the “up” part of a push-up, is excellent if you can do it. Lie face down, and raise your body into a benchlike posture, supporting it with your hands and toes and keeping your back flat. Hold the position for a count of 10, or as long as you can without undue strain. Over time, build up to a one-minute plank.

If posture is a problem, a suggested corrective exercise involves sitting or standing as tall as you can with your chin tucked in, stomach tight and chest forward. With your arms extended in a “W” position and shoulders relaxed, bring your elbows back to pinch your shoulder blades together. Hold for a slow count of three and relax for another count of three. Repeat 10 times.

2011 Wimbledon TV Schedule. The Finals are this weekend. It’s on live – ESPN2 and NBC (All times Eastern) The Tennis Channel runs re-runs (called Encores or Premieres at night. Federer is is playing Tsonga as I write this column. It’s on ESPN2.

Wednesday, June 29, 7 am – 10 am, Men’s Quarterfinals, ESPN2
Wednesday, June 29, 10 am – 1 pm, Men’s Quarterfinals, NBC
Wednesday, June 29, 1 pm – 7 pm, Men’s Quarterfinals, ESPN2
Thursday, June 30, 7 am – 12 pm, Women’s Semifinals, ESPN2
Thursday, June 30, 12 pm – 5 pm, Women’s Semifinals, NBC
Thursday, June 30, 9 pm – 11 pm, Women’s Semifinals, ESPN2
Friday, July 1, 7 am – 12 pm, Men’s Semifinals, ESPN2
Friday, July 1, 12 pm – 5 pm, Men’s Semifinals, NBC
Friday, July 1, 8 pm – 11 pm, Men’s Semifinals, ESPN2
Saturday, July 2, 9 am – 2 pm, Women’s Final, NBC
Sunday, July 3, 9 am – 3 pm, Men’s Final, NBC

Latest favorite New Yorker cartoons.

No Underwear makes sense
A grandson  came to visit his grandparents. He noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.

‘Grandpa, what are you doing?  Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!’  he exclaimed .

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

‘Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?’ he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said, ‘Well….last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea.

Harry Newton whose son Michael loved yesterday’s tasteless joke about pregnant women carrying golf bags. Is he inheriting my awful sense of humor? A father should hope for more than this. In case you missed it, the “joke” is here.

This is Michael at family desk, working as usual.  Today’s kids work 24/7.

“Why are you photographing me, again, Dad?”

What else do parents do?

Michael is in New York for a conference at the Waldorf, which doesn’t have (much to his surprise) Wi-Fi in meeting areas. He used my Verizon Mi-Fi card and was on the Internet all day. He loves it.  He says his iPad is “perfect for conferences” since it’s inconspicuous and connects instantly and painlessly to the Verizon Mi-Fi.